Aubs

yvynyl: Kitty Pryde - Okay Cupid This song! Wow. Got white-hot...

Wed, 09 May 2012 23:37:25 -0400

Kitty Pryde - Okay Cupid

This song! Wow. Got white-hot in 0.2 hype seconds for good reason. Not ashamed to love it, catchy and fresh as hell.

Props to Tyler’s PRTLS post + interview for mining this three weeks ago.

kittydothedishes:

produced directed filmed everything by bryan mckay and shannen ortale

song produced by beautiful lou

STARRING britney m and annie t

i should have washed my hair first

maybe got my makeup done. w/e

I wanted to hate this. It’s impossible to…”I wait for your drunk dials at 3:30am” is so insanely catchy.

What's next.

Tue, 08 May 2012 15:22:33 -0400

Seven months ago, I left San Francisco. I moved to New York for a lot of reasons, but mostly, because it was time to try something new. To be uncomfortable in my surroundings, to challenge myself with a newer (to me), harsher, harder city. To fulfill my desire to live in Manhattan before I got all domestic and did things like “settle down”, get myself hitched and have lots of babies. (LOTS.) I wanted to live in this city to see if I could do it.

I left a fabulous job at Facebook to fulfill this dream. Since then, I’ve chosen to try something new, to take on a consulting role at a large company (NASDAQ) and to start working with a handful of startups to guide them on their marketing & communications. I’ve enjoyed this; nay, I’ve loved it. It’s been incredibly fulfilling to work with talented, driven people to help build their product & community, to see the value & importance that they place in marketing. It’s been rewarding and it’s been fun and it’s been challenging and it’s been awesome. It taught me so much about how to start my own company while working with people who were starting their own as well. It reminded me how much I enjoyed working for startups in the past; I often wax poetic about the ‘good ol’ days’ at Digg. And so it was in that spirit that I decided to halt my plans to build out my marketing consultancy and chose to join a startup myself.

Today is my second day as the VP of Marketing for Sailthru, a New York startup who has built an unparalleled behavioural communications platform. As a marketer, I have personally gone through the drudgery of choosing & installing an email service provider. It’s timely, costly, and often you don’t get all of the features you were promised. (Lots of smoke & mirrors in this industry.) As an individual, I’m inundated by marketing emails that clutter up my inbox; there’s only a handful of them that I open, and the ones that I do are solely based on their relevancy to me (i.e., opt-in for concert reminders, awesome product curation from Fab, etc.) So when I was introduced to Neil Capel & we talked about what his team & company were building, I was immediately intrigued. In short, Sailthru is smart. REALLY smart. (So is Neil, and he has a lovely British accent, to boot.) Sailthru provides a platform for companies to communicate with their customers, and does so in a way that makes it relevant to them via email, on their websites & more. It solves my need as a marketer for efficient communication methods and solves my frustration as an individual because the content I’m consuming is actually relevant to me. In a world where we are quick to condemn email as a vile timesuck, I’d challenge that it’s not the communication method, but the content itself, that needs addressing. And as someone who makes her livelihood by helping to simplify & clarify communications, I’m psyched to be working with a platform that’s leading the industry to help do just that.

So this is what’s next, my next big adventure here in the greatest city in the world. And I couldn’t be more excited.

I’ve always been a single person…well, at least...

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 12:52:00 -0400

I’ve always been a single person…well, at least musically. Guns ‘n Roses’ “Patience”? Tape single. (Actually, two of them…7th grade birthday party fail.) “More Than Words” by Extreme? Had my first kiss to that tape single, which I manually flipped every 4:14 seconds. Only took around seven plays to get Jon McConnell to finally kiss me, a feat he performed most likely to stop the annoying strains of Nuno Bettencourt. (HIS NAME WAS NUNO??) With a handful of exceptions - The National, Frightened Rabbit, Bon Iver - I usually get hooked by a song from a band, buy the entire album, and then listen to a few songs on it.

So it’s especially noted when an album comes along that I like in its entirety, as I do with Bad Veins’ much-anticipated release, “This Mess We Made”. It officially came out today, but I’ve had it for a few months and have been counting down the weeks until I could feature it on my site or add a song to my mix. I’ve heard the new tunes performed live twice in the past few months, and the energy that Benjamin Davis & Sebastien Schultz bring to a live show is infectious. (Seb has actually broken a cymbal on stage - twice - from his performance.) Their first album was strong but this, THIS is a whole new level. The first song - “Dancing on TV” - is a catchy ditty that has you tapping your feet and finding yourself humming the tune all day. “Don’t Run” is my current favorite, though “Chasing” often wins top billing on my near-daily listen. It’s unique in that the lyrics affect me (and I find myself quoting them) but don’t interfere with the music so that it’s one of the few albums that I can listen to on repeat when writing.

Check it out; you can stream the album on Spinner for the next week, and by then it’ll be in your rotation that you can’t imagine not purchasing it in its entirety (Spotify & RDIO for you cloud-dwellers)…which is also how it deserves to be consumed.

Love is still a mixtape, it's just an infrequent one

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 11:20:00 -0400

It all started with my friend Ryan McManus.

Ok, that’s not entirely true. It started many, many years before I had the pleasure of meeting Ryan; it started back when I was younger, with a silver Casio boombox, Lite Rock 106.5 (don’t judge me, I was in CLEVELAND) and a Memorex tape. I realized that I could save my precious allowance if I recorded songs off of the radio instead of going to the local record store to purchase my favorite Bon Jovi singles. Problem was: the DJs had a nasty habit of talking over the beginning of the songs. Assholes.

Being the particular (read: Type-A, borderline perfectionist) person that I was (am), I would spend hours waiting for the song to come on without any DJ interruption, trigger finger ready to press record to capture every note of the tune. It’s safe to say that I stayed up much later in the evening in Middle School than I did even in college.

By mid-high school, I was recording mix tapes, often from the CDs of the people I babysat (god bless you, Dr. Horwood, with your introduction to Bruce Springsteen & Cowboy Junkies), interspersed with a few radio dubs. This of course evolved into a Napster obsession; I remember my first job after grad school having a “secret” Music server for people to share their MP3s. Oh, crappy audio quality of “Hooch”, you’ll forever be in my heart.

But back to Ryan. A few years back, we became friends and I ended up on his quarterly Mix Tape circuit, where he would curate with extreme care and precision a musical journey reminiscent of his feelings during those few months. He’d design beautiful cover art, and staying true to the days of when there was autoflip from Side A to Side B, there’s even that sound delineating the two sides of the tape. It was perfect. I’d look forward to them every few months, not just discovering new music through his exquisite taste, but feeling like I got to know my friend a bit better after sharing the musical experience with him. I was hooked. Add the experience of reading one of my favorite books, “Love is a Mixtape”, and I decided I wanted to not just make these mix CDs for myself, as I had been for years, but also share them with others.

So at the end of 2007, I compiled - and shared - my first CD mixtape. I did the same the following year, adding a “B-Sides” as I couldn’t fit all of my favorites on one disk. Same with the next year. By 2010, I was attempting (and sadly, failing) of doing them monthly, but last year I accomplished my goal and created a different mix each month. You can find links to all of them here.

I loved doing these. I received lovely, friendly notes from people all over the world thanking me for helping them discover new music. I have compiled all of them into a single iTunes playlist, and put on shuffle, it reminds me of the ups and downs, the highs and lows of the past few years. The songs that make me happy when I was caught up in the glow of falling in love. The excitement for my friends when their new albums were released. The unfaltering obsession with every song from The National to help me cope through a breakup. These songs, they were the force behind decisions, the salve to a wounded heart, the inspiration to move on.

People often asked how I discover the music; during my time in San Francisco, I was attending a lot of live shows, often finding new music from the openers or through friends’ recommendations. I had a long commute for much of my time there, and SiriusXMU - Jake Fogelnest in particular - was my musical muse for many, many months. RDIO and Spotify, to some extent, have helped. But as I find myself in New York without a car and in shared spaces where people aren’t playing music - and also the challenge of writing while trying to listen to new tunes, which is really hard for me - this discovery has slowed down. I haven’t been finding new songs or albums as easily, and as such, I made the decision to halt the monthly mixtapes until the situation changed. This was done with a heavy heart, as they were as much for me as they were for you, but in my already overtaxed schedule, it just didn’t fit in anymore, at least not on a monthly basis.

So going forward, I’m going to suggest new music, just more sporadically; it may be a song on my other Tumblr, the mislabeled “Daily Tuneage” (since it’s anything but daily) or a shout-out on Twitter or Facebook, or a post here on this site. I’m certainly not a music critic but I do think I have a pretty good ear for tunes; I still want to share them with you, just in a different format. So stay tuned (Update: POSTED!), I’ll be posting one later today, one you won’t want to miss.

Last Friday, my dog Lila Belle & I were going to my...

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 12:05:00 -0400

Last Friday, my dog Lila Belle & I were going to my friends’ house in Brooklyn. She was sitting on my lap in their car, as she’s apt to do, and in holding her, I noticed a growth on her front leg. Since Lila considers herself a(n overgrown, 32 lb.) lap dog, she’s often jumping up on me so I have a pretty good idea of what is (and is not) on her squirmy little dog body. This thing on her leg, this was new. It was big, it was (somewhat) fleshy, and it seemingly came out of nowhere.

I called the vet immediately.

We went in on Monday morning; I was hoping the vet would immediately discount it, as it didn’t seem to hurt Lila at all, but she didn’t. Instead, she ordered a cytology, which she said often comes back inconclusive. If that was the case, we’d have to give her anesthesia and take a biopsy of this thing on her leg. For now, I’d just have to wait; results would come back at some point this week.

So for the last six days, I’ve been in a constant state of concern. “I’m sure it’s nothing,” I’d tell myself, and yet I’ve had this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’ve been overly doting on her, feeling guilty that I was at work, that the dog walker was taking her out vs. me, in case - God forbid - there was something more seriously wrong. Lila is only seven, and for the first time, I began to think about her mortality. I’ve lost three cats in the last three years, so the death of a pet is not foreign to me. But Lila? No. Not her. Not now. I can barely even think about her slowing down as she gets older. This is my puppy, this crazy, energetic, sweet, loving, floppy-eared gal. This is my dog. This is my future husband’s dog. This is my future children’s dog. No. She must be ok.

And, she is. The vet just called; I nearly burst into tears when she told me that the results came back and Lila is absolutely fine. It is simply fat cells. There’s really no rhyme nor reason why she has this thing on her paw; I’m supposed to monitor it and if it changes or starts to bother her, we can have it removed. But for now, she’s fine.

Celebratory drinking at lunch is acceptable, right?

The importance of your kickboxing class

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 14:21:14 -0400

I started working for Google back in the early (read: 2003) days. I started at the now-behemoth (but then, relatively small) company in their Atlanta office; I was the ninth employee there. We were lean, nimble, passionate about our work, and long days were the norm. We were helping build the AdWords business, and took that responsibility seriously (though yes, there was the occasional Razor Scooter accident into the wall, with scars to prove.) It was a great team, with many of us kicking ass, knowing we were doing something exciting and important, though not sure we fully realized the actual scope of it. I’d venture to say that work was, for many of us, our main priority.

It was also during that time that I started taking karate, and soon began teaching a kickboxing course. As an athlete since I was young, I loved being able to not only further my own health but lead a class full of others with the same mindset. The class was on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6pm. Given the clusterfuckery that was (is) the Atlanta traffic and our office being 12 miles away from downtown (which took 45 mins. at best), I’d leave the office no later than 5pm two days a week.

This was rare; most people worked late into the evenings, especially since we were on the East Coast and often managed teams on the West, and because the majority of us were single and without families. And though I was a core member of this team - there were only two of us doing a pretty integral and unique role in the office - not once was a word mentioned about my twice-weekly early departure time.

That’s right: I left work at 5pm during one of the largest growth periods at Google, and it was never seen as a detriment. In fact, I repeatedly received accolades from my manager for setting a healthy work-life balance, who said she looked to me as an inspiration.

That has stayed with me through my career. Today, the internet media are abuzz around Sheryl Sandberg’s public admittance that she leaves work at 5:30pm, and true, Sheryl was a key figure at Google during this time. (I never worked for her directly at Google, but our paths did cross many times as we were part of an extended team.) I applaud her for this disclosure, and support it entirely; I also understand the other part of the discussion that she “proves” that she is still working by intentionally sending emails late into the evening and early into the morning. It’s that latter part that I’m concerned about, though begrudgingly agree that it’s the reality. There is a fear that you can look disengaged or appear to be working less hard if you aren’t staying ‘til you’re the one that has to lock up. I hope we start working to change this expectation.

I appreciate the awareness that she - and, more accurately, the Facebook PR team, as we know these placements didn’t come from a one-off comment - is bringing to the issue. It’s something that I’ve intentionally strived for with every job I’ve had since, both in my behaviour, and more importantly, in any employee I’ve worked with. I’d tell them my kickboxing story, and say that I’d expect, at least one day a week, for them to be gone by 5pm. I don’t care if they sit on their couch and eat bonbons, shotgun a few beers or stalk their ex-boyfriend. They’d best be gone from the office, because this is their time. Because the reality is that nobody will give you this time; you have to take it. And as a new employee with any company, your emphasis is on working not just hard, but long; how many times have you been twiddling your thumbs after filling out your paperwork on your first day, waiting for your boss to leave while trying to figure out what you’re supposed to be doing? (Yeah. I’ve been there.) As a manager, we should know to teach by example and provide the ability for our younger, eager employees to also have a work-life balance, in hopes that they will pass it on to their team one day.

So better limber up, team. If you plan on working with me, you’ve got a kickboxing class in your future.

kmaverick: apparently 1999 is coming back Oh hey, Dan...

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 16:34:15 -0400

kmaverick:

apparently 1999 is coming back

Oh hey, Dan Maccarone. I know you’re amped for this…

rickwebb: jayparkinsonmd: It’s Cover Friday. Here’s...

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 16:31:21 -0400

rickwebb:

jayparkinsonmd:

It’s Cover Friday.

Here’s Hyperballad by the Twilight Singers on the remarkably good She Loves You record.

Is anyone as excited as I am for the Afghan Whigs reunion?

Twilight Singers never let me down…

rickwebb's tumblrmajig: I'll talk how I want

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 08:51:38 -0500

rickwebb's tumblrmajig: I'll talk how I want :

rickwebb:

In the past few weeks, I have heard passionate complaints against people who say “um.” People who say “like.” People who say “right?” at the end of their sentences. I just read a very fine book which spent a whole chapter decrying the use of the word “so” to start a sentence or a presentation (I…

I believe this also means I can continue to curse like a sailor (when I feel like it.) Um, right?

brit: This might be the best startup launch video (and concept)...

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 08:46:48 -0500

brit:

This might be the best startup launch video (and concept) of all time.

“Our Blades Are F***ing Great”

Personally, I just want to know if he’s single.
(The founder. Not Pedobear. And I assume Pop Pop is no longer with us, God Bless his soul.)

warbyparker: Whoa. The MLA has officially devised a standard...

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 15:39:11 -0500

warbyparker:

Whoa. The MLA has officially devised a standard format to cite tweets in an academic paper. Sign of the times.

Let’s put this into action, shall we?
Sabala, Aubrey (@Aubs)
“Everyone needs to shut the fuck up. [expletive expletive expletive].” March 5, 2012, 3:39pm EST. Tweet.

Wherein The Drums cover the Sugarcubes’...

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 13:49:58 -0500

Wherein The Drums cover the Sugarcubes’ “Birthday.” Also wherein I am in love with this version.

The Common Sense Guide to SXSW: It's Really Not That Hard*

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 13:38:00 -0500

Seems like everyone is posting a “Guide to SXSW”. Many of these contain paragraph after paragraph of tangible advice, everything from “Be nice” (I agree) to “Buy up all the chalk, bubbles, glitter…you can” (HUH? Um…no.) With respect to everyone’s opinions, y’all are frankly thinking about it way too much. (And don’t get me started on my hatred for the word ‘hustle’. Kindly shut the fuck up now, please). Yes, SXSW is an event, a huge one, at that. Yes, it is potentially overwhelming with all of the parties, people and panels (yep, they still offer those in the midst of the marketer’s wet dream of an event it’s now become), but I urge you to not think too much about it. Don’t overplan. Don’t stress. Just show up, bring business cards, and be open to serendipity.

But if you really want a few more tips from this 9-year veteran, sure. Here you go.

Drink water. You’ll need it.
Get enough sleep. Skip some morning panels, order breakfast in bed; take a night off. The whole trend of “staying up all night to hustle” is not only annoying as hell (blog post forthcoming on that bullshit) but it’s also unhealthy. Get sleep. Your body needs it.
Wear your real clothes, not your stupid brand on your shirt. And if those are the only clothes you own, I’ve got a good stylist I’ll recommend you.
Pick one party you want to go to. All week. Yes, that sounds counter-intuitive, but just let the days & night evolve as you want to. You’ll go to a ton more, but if you over-plan, you’re going to be stressed out. That’s no fun for anyone, especially me who will tell you to chill the fuck out. (I hate being repetitive.)
Say yes more than no. Your new friend wants to ditch out on a panel & go to Moonshine? Do it.
Spend some time in the sun. The back lawn of the Four Seasons is delectable. Sitting on the grass will recharge your soul.
Exercise. Even if I’m hungover as hell (read: usually), I drag my weary ass for a run (or fast walk, depending upon said hangover) down by Lady Bird Lake to start my day. It’s beautiful, and there’s this great little bench that I dare you to find.
Hook up. No need to check in to get your “Bangin’ Badge”, pal, but hey, kissing a new friend is fun. And if you’re taken, having an innocent SXSW crush doesn’t hurt…just don’t take it too far. It’s good for the serotonin, and after the depletion caused by all that boozing, you’ll need it.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Whether you’re there to pimp your company or to just have fun and meet new people, nobody wants to get a sales pitch from a new friend. That will come up in the conversation, but that lad donning head-to-toe schwag telling you their new app is like Pinterest for zombies? Kindly shut the fuck up.

SXSW is what you make of it. It can be a very effective networking opportunity, and it can also be a fun, enjoyable, relaxing few days with great weather and a chance to meet new people. Don’t overthink, and for God’s sake, please don’t sprinkle me with glitter. That’s SOOO 2007.

*That’s what she said.

see-jess-live: hellotraveler: shakespeareandshoes: there are...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:05:05 -0500

see-jess-live:

hellotraveler:

shakespeareandshoes:

there are a much much better example of Downton valentine’s

(via likegrecianart)

i. am. dying.

Dead. Like the Turk.

Well SHIT. Now I’m pissed I hand-made my Valentine’s Day cards this year.

Shrinky-dink

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:43:50 -0500

I’ve been seeing a therapist, something I’ve been wanting/needing to do for a long time, and while it’s still early days, I feel like some interesting things are surfacing. Now, I consider myself pretty self-aware, such that when I identify a behaviour I have that I don’t like, I first try to fix it myself. But sometimes the mere acknowledgement of the behaviour doesn’t provide a solution or ways to change it. That’s when I know it’s time to bring in the big guns, at the (thank God for you insurance-discounted) rate of $40/session. I won’t go into the reasons that I came to this decision, but it’s nothing severe or dangerous, more that there’s some things that I’d like to fix about myself that I’d love assistance with. Could use some advice. And herein ends my diatribe on why I’m going to therapy.

So far, it’s fascinating. While I’ve known that I behave one way or another when faced with a situation, I’m starting to understand or get clarity on what caused me to behave that way. Enlightenment and all that shit. So in addressing one trait of mine that I think to be somewhat exaggerated - my independent streak (and note that I use ‘exaggerated’ in this case to mean that I over-index in being super stubbornly independent, in both work and personal relationships) - I realized that my actions are inconsistent with my belief. Because, while I’m used to being hugely independent, it’s also really unfulfilling. Tiring. Exhausting.

At my friends’ Dave & Brit’s wedding this summer, they had a fantastic pastor, who said (and I wrote down in my iPhone), “Living life self-sufficiently is exhausting.” And it is. It really, truly is. And yet some part of me feels guilty for feeling this way, as if it’s some sort of weakness of self. That I should be stronger and embrace this independence, modern-day woman, hear me roar.

Just yesterday, I expressed - half in jest, but therein lies the truth - that I wish I had a boyfriend so I could have someone help me take this stupid 5’x8’ heavy-as-shit rug back to West Elm. I trudged that fucker out of the store; it would be nice to have help to get the thing back TO the store since it fell apart. It’s a dumb task, an annoying task, one that I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking a friend to help with. (Who wants to carry someone else’s rug three NYC blocks when they don’t have to? Exactly.) But a boyfriend, yep, he’d “have” to help, what with the amazing sex we’d be having nightly. You know, that and the fact that I never complained about his stinky socks. All part of the package. And then I immediately felt guilty, not because I think putting out begets some rug-hoisting-help (no pun intended, for real this time) but because I WANTED the help. That it wasn’t something I could do myself, and worse yet, that it wasn’t something I WANTED to do myself. “Just this once,” I thought, “it would be nice to have someone.”

So I’m working on it. I’m realizing that my first instinct is to go it alone, to do it myself, to not ask for help. And then am making myself do the exact opposite, even if it is to acknowledge - and now, very publicly - that it would be nice; nay, it would be FANTASTIC, to share life’s little nuances, both the awesome and the annoying, with someone else. I’d like not just a boyfriend, but a partner in crime. The give & the take are much easier if you have both parts; otherwise, you’re left with a whole lotta giving and very little taking.

In the meantime, if anyone wants to help me with an oversized rug…

Questioning YOUR norm: Why you should

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:42:00 -0500

“I prefer…”
“I work better when…”
“I don’t feel comfortable when…”

We’re so accustomed to telling ourselves, and others, things that we think to be true, that often we don’t allow ourselves the opportunity to prove ourselves wrong. To find out if something we’ve said and done for years remains true. Or, in some cases, to gauge one preference against the other to see what is more important.

An example.

I like to have a set schedule. I like going into my office around 9am, to have my desk set up the way I like it, to know that I will have my stash of Papermate Medium Blue Stick Pens handy, to know that I can get filtered water in the fridge, to have my favorite people’s faces captured in my picture frames placed atop my desk, exactly where I want them to be. I like knowing I have a change of shoes, a hairbrush, a bottle of Advil and deodorant, in case I need any of these things. I like this stability, this routine, this comfort and safety of knowing what I will expect. One of the first things I do when taking a new job is to set up my space just how I like it, for the same reason I unpack as soon as I get to a hotel room. I like making the space my own; feeling at home in it.

But.

I’ve found that this isn’t as important as the environment itself, a fact I’ve only recently realized when finding myself in a situation that has all of those elements, but is devoid of ones that are apparently more important. I need natural light. I need conversation. I need camaraderie. It’s challenging and nearly impossible to maintain my creativity in an environment that doesn’t offer me these things, and is more frustrating and unsettling than it would be if I worked out of a shared office in a temporary desk with nothing more than my laptop. I need the physical environment and the people more than I need my things or even my routine. And finding this out shocked me.

It surprised me and made me wonder what other habits I’ve been living with, what other preferences I’ve had and operated under for years that have prevented me from learning what is really important. What have I done in relationships that have caused me to miss something fantastic? What foods haven’t I tried because I said I didn’t like them? (Answer: grapefruit and jalapeno peppers are just two I’m now obsessed with that I hadn’t tried for years.) How do our habits, and our reliance upon them, become our limitations?

So I’m trying something new. I’m working out of different spaces, only to find that the music playing in the background and the new restaurants and the conversation with people I have just met is helping keep me creative, keep me focused and making me more productive. I’m realizing that the things I have so long claimed to be important, aren’t. And the things that actually ARE? Should be. There the things that mean something. The human connections. The stuff that keeps us going.

Question yourself. Get out of your comfort zone. Do something you think you hate. You might just surprise yourself as well.

Unresolved: Why I'm Not Making Any 2012 Resolutions

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 20:33:07 -0500

As many others have, I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few days thinking about what I’d like to see in this new year. Thought about where I’m at right now, where I was last year, and - as my friend Ron wisely advised - looked back two years ago to see how far I’ve actually come. (Those of you who’ve known me for a while can attest that I am, thankfully, at a much, MUCH better - and happier - place than that horrid 3-5 months where I was a post-breakup mess and but a shell of myself. Time, and making better decisions, does really heal all wounds, and for that I am grateful.) I like the symbolism of starting something new at a transition point…I usually start a health plan or new activity on a Monday. And while I get that there’s a sort of backlash against New Year’s Resolutions, mainly because why should you wait until then to start them, I do appreciate the symbolic nature of this time. The rebirth of a year.

I’m a person who loves challenges. Loves trying something new. Likes to learn about my limits, push past them, and admit defeat when needed. (Which mostly happens when I wasn’t 100% committed to doing something in the first place.) I always give something up for Lent even though I’m not Catholic. I’ve often done Sober January, and cajoled my friends into doing this with me. I know myself, and I’m very much an ‘all or nothing’ type of gal, so have found success most frequently when I set a more ambitious goal than one that has a lot of leeway. I have a friend doing something called #30min365 where he committed to working out (doing some sort of activity to the point of breaking a sweat) 30 minutes for every day of the year. I understand that; the extreme “no cheat” rule speaks to me more than if I said I would work out 5 days a week. There’s little room for excuses; it’s why I work out in the morning vs. the evening, as a full day I can come up with sundry reasons for my laziness.

I was inspired by my friend Reece’s blog post on his “Twelve Experiments” that he’s doing; he’s taking a month to do something new or try a different behaviour. I love this. It reminds me of Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project”, which I also really resonated with. “I should do this,” I thought to myself today (and many days before.) “This is something I’d love.”

And yet.

I had today off from work. I spent a lot of it thinking about this idea; the feasibility of it all, the commitment to having twelve different goals, to be living that disciplined. Would it actually be teaching me more about myself to take on yet another obligation (when, frankly, I often feel overwhelmed by what I have going on already) or would it be merely an exercise in discipline for someone who already knows she can be? And right now, it sounds like a burden to me. And that’s NOT something I want.

It makes me feel like I’ve already failed here, this decision to NOT make resolutions, to NOT take on additional challenges, to not commit to giving something up or learning something new or even changing a behaviour. I hate that. But what resonates with me, and what I’ve said for a while I’m trying to do, is to find balance. And right now I’m skewed. There’s a lot of amazing and good and awesome in my life; and on the flip side, there is a lot of anxiety. And fear. And responsibility that I’ve never asked for, that is taking and has taken a toll on me over the past few years. I’m not at a place professionally where I want to be; the same can be said about my personal relationships. My health. My fitness. My overall sense of wellness. I have very little drama in my life - thank GOD - but the stress? The anxiety? The poor choices as an avoidance tactic? Oh yes, those are alive and well, because that’s what I’ve done for so long and what I know to do.

So that’s my emphasis for now. To achieve this balance. To be in a place where I’m in a position to make healthy, rewarding decisions on all aspects of my life. To feel some of the weight on my shoulders lift a bit; to be healthier and happier and kinder. To feel more like myself again. I’ve already started some big steps to doing so. Some involve health (my diet, cutting down on sugar & alcohol, etc.) and some involve relationships. Some are to be less harsh on myself; to be proud of the really good behaviours I already have going on, even ones I discount as silly like my tendency to get enough sleep and my obsession with taking adult gummy vitamins in the morning. (Hey, it’s a start.)

And hell, if this doesn’t work, I can always go with the catch-all from a few years ago: “Have more sex, do more drugs.” Contingency plans are important.

[a]way with words: aubs' dec. 2011 mix

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:21:00 -0500

I did it. It was a lofty goal, and many months I thought there was no way I was going to find the time to post another mix. “Who’s going to miss this?” I’d think. “Maybe I’ll just wait for next month.” But instead, I somehow made it a priority to get all twelve of these suckers out, albeit usually a few weeks late. Because it’s important to me. This discovery of new music, but moreover, the sharing of this music with others.

I don’t know how many of you are downloading these or listening to them on Spotify or RDIO. But I do know that throughout the last twelve months, I’ve received so many emails, @replies, texts, and even met people in person who have enjoyed these mixes. And that makes it all worth it. I hope you’ve found a new favorite song, learned about a new artist, and have gone to a live show you wouldn’t have otherwise. I know I have.

I’m not sure what next year will bring. Without my commute (hurrah!) and the stylings of Sirius XMU (you hear that, Jake Fogelnest?) finding new music is a lot more difficult than it was when I was held captive in my car for nearly 2.5 hours a day. Spotify and RDIO have helped with this, and I’m finding myself having to ask for recommendations and seek out new music from friends. So a monthly mix for 2012? We’ll see. I’m setting other resolutions and doing other things that will require a lot of diligence and time. I’ll definitely still continue to share music, but not sure it will be on a strictly monthly basis as it was this past year. But we’ll see. I continue to surprise myself.

So this month, December 2011. It’s always the hardest one, esp. since I still need to curate my “Best of 2011 Mix” (I have one more day, for those of you who are calendar-obsessed.) It was particularly difficult as I just didn’t listen to a ton of new music. As such, you’ll see some of my life-long favorites on here, such as “Father and Son” by Cat Stevens and “Bookends” by Simon and Garfunkel. I’ve randomly heard both of these songs while out & about this blustery month, and made a mental note to listen to them more often. Which I’ve done. Then there’s some ‘new to me’ songs (such as “The Killer” by The Twilight Singers and “What Jail is Like” (shoutout to Sean Garrett & Charlie Love for their recos) by The Afghan Whigs. But yes, there’s still some new ditties; “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men is poppily delectable by this Icelandic group, and there are TWO new songs by The National because I just couldn’t decide if I liked “I Need My Girl” more or less than “Rylan”. (You get ‘em both.) The rest, I’ll let you discover for yourself.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing your music with me, and as always, please support these amazing artists by purchasing their music (on MP3 AND Vinyl!) and attending their shows.

Happy 2011, everyone. It’s been quite a year. Thanks for being here with me.

Download [a]way with words: aubs’ dec. 2011 mix

1. Little Talks: Of Monsters and Men
2. Born to Lose: Sleigh Bells
3. Civilian: Wye Oak
4. Caring is Creepy: The Shins
5. Long Distance Call: Phoenix
6. The Killer: The Twilight Singers
7. Come to the City: War on Drugs
8. I Need my Girl: The National
9. Born to Die: Lana Del Ray
10. What Jail is Like: The Afghan Whigs
11. We Own the Sky: M83
12. Shake it Out (Acoustic): Florence + The Machine
13. Rylan: The National
14. The Good Night: The Submarines
15. Swim Club: The Cave Singers
16. Father and Son: Cat Stevens
17. Bookends Theme: Simon and Garfunkel

*Spotify playlist, which is missing three awesome songs (Born to Lose, I Need My Girl and Rylan.)

Another one from The National…this one named...

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 13:46:55 -0500

Another one from The National…this one named “Rylan”. Matt Beringer’s voice just makes me want to lay in bed, lazily, with the one I love, wasting the day away with each other.

asongaday: “I can’t get my head around it,I keep feeling...

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 13:37:39 -0500

asongaday:

“I can’t get my head around it,
I keep feeling smaller and smaller.”

The National’s new song - I Need My Girl - that they debuted last week (and played live at their last show on the US High Violet tour at the Beacon Theatre.) Merry Christmas to ME!