Today’s been a relatively productive day for me, especially in that it’s Tuesday. (Don’t know if it’s the post-Monday not-yet-Wednesday and still far-away-from Friday slump, but Tuesdays are usually, well, just there.)
Not this one, my friends.
I am reveling in my efficiency, delighting in my non-dalliance. My friends, I’m a consumer marvel.
I’ve gone to the mysterious land of Customer Service questions, and came back, relatively unscathed and better off than before.
You see, when things break around my house, I usually first try and fix them myself (being Superwoman and all) and, upon the rare instances in which I don’t succeed (never say fail!), either do more research (i.e., finally delve into the user manual and realize that those square pegs should go in the square holes) or just mark it up as irretrievably broken.
Yet, after yesterday’s Mr. Plumber debacle ($165.13 for a man to stick his hand down the disposal and remove an errant beer cap,) I decided I’d had it. First on my “hit list” would be Mr. Plumber, as a quote should be given BEFORE someone sticks his hand down and fixes the problem, NOT after. (I mean, what was he going to do, throw the cap back in?)
I was having none of that. Called, spoke my mind, and at least half of my bill will mysteriously disappear from my credit card statement.
Aubrey: 1 Merchant: 0
Riding high from that success, I decided to bring it to another level, tackling those “untackleable” feats, including the fax machine that prints only a long black smear, my phone which won’t stop beeping, my automatic cat-litter cleaner box that, unfortunately, won’t clean, my HMO that was refusing to let me see a Dr. for this pesky carpal-tunnel-esque wrist pain until November (I may be dead by then!) and, travesty of all travesties, my stereo remote control that refuses to adhere to its “sleep” command. (stubborn little thing.)
Alas and alack, I was met with relative success:
-Received detailed instructions on my fax machine; apparently pushing ‘stop’ and ‘start’ while unplugging is the salve.
-Phone? New battery needed.
-Cat litter box? Simply return the battery cover (??) and they’re sending me a brand-spanking-new box; the fatties will be so elated.
-Am now a new patient of Dr. William Brad Harper, who will happily see my ailing wrist tomorrow afternoon, a fact I’m sure he’s gleeful about.
The only semi-failure occurred w/the stereo remote, and that’s only b/c I refused to shell out an additional $30 for a new remote (the attempt to sweet-talk Jamal, my service rep, was met with NO success. Damn.)
A 4-1 record isn’t too bad, kids, and all of this on a Tuesday!! Today’s lesson? Save your user manuals (thanks, Dad, for that mandate o’ wisdom,) don’t be afraid to talk to strangers, and sweet-talk your way to success.
Except if his name is Jamal. You’re on your own with that one…
Happily enjoying my soon-to-be pain-free-typing, my new litter box, my non-beeping phone, functioning fax, and learning to live with a sleep-less stereo,
PS-Be sure to check out my new pictures of my house, complete with furniture. (I even made my bed…)