Love, Redoux

Love, and like, and lust…they’re funny things.

We hear the adages…you’ll find it when you’re not looking for it. There’s another fish in the sea. It will happen when you least expect it to.

Stories from our happily committed–or happily married–friends seem to play into this train of thought. They met by happenstance. A random, twist of fate led her to him or him to her and bam! The rest was history. Timing and location are everything, I believe, but if so, then is there just one person out there for everyone?

Subscribing to the needle in a haystack odds, and banking our romantic future on it, seems like Russian roulette. Trust in God, trust in destiny, trust in fate.

We grow up inundated with these messages, in our movies, our novels, even our sappy Kleenex commercials. You, they say, will one day find the one for you and be happy. You’ll be swept off your feet, you’ll be wined and dined, and though you’ll have a fight or two, you’ll sink into happy bliss as the credits play and the sun sets over the horizon. Knight in shining armor and happily ever after. What I want to know, though, is when are we not looking?

Granted, we find ourselves wrapped up in one thing or another at various times in our lives, our jobs, our friends, our houses, but I pose that for most of us, in the back of our heads, our subconscious is nudging us to think “could he be the one”? Illogical, I know, but as you’re standing in the grocery store line checking out not only your groceries but the dark-haired hunk ahead of you, a fleeting thought causes you to wonder how funny it would be if you met your future sig-other at Kroeger.

This is not to say we’re fixated on it. Quite the contrary. I, personally, am not ready to commit to one person I know but now and again, I have to wonder. One of these days I will be ready, and what happens then? Do I invest in personalized tees that announce my desire to settle down? A business card to pass out at bars stating my thoughts of my 2.5 kids and overpriced SUV’s in the driveway? If I’m not looking now and I’m not finding it, when I AM looking, will I find it?

They say that you’ll know. Somehow, inexplicably, you will have an electric charge with that person and magically, being with them is the most important thing. Chemistry or luck or a few too many cocktails, but eventually, we supposably all find our match.

Should we keep the “maybes” around while we mature? A virtual little black book of people that COULD fit the bill when we decide we’re ready? Do guys do this? Should girls?

To quote my pal Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything, “I don’t know. But I know that I don’t know.” What I do know, however, is that it takes two people to make–and keep–a relationship, and until then, sweetheart, you’re on your own. Take 2 boxes of Kleenex and DON’T call him in the morning.

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