Many things, my friends, many things.

I’m just busting over with anxiety — the good kind where you’re like giddy anxious and you’ve got fluttery little excited butterflies flittering around in your tummy. Where, at night, you can’t seem to get to sleep because your legs have a semi-nervous twitch and just don’t want to stay still, sending unassuming and very crankily tired cats meowing in indignancy off the bed. Where following a single train of thought is an exercise in futility, much like balancing my checkbook is a mere exercise in subtraction. That’s me, that’s now, that’s the deal.

And, as such, I would LIKE to write a coherent little entry on the causes of my happygiddiness but alas, can’t do it. Can’t do it because the following thoughts are blisteringly popping around in my head, causing my non-train of thought to be even more nonsensical and nonsequitorish:

* If you have an outstanding check due to me, send it on. The aforementioned exercise in subtraction (i.e., checkbook balancing) seems to display a very very meager amount such that overdraft may be in the near future.
* Correspondingly, if you have a check FROM me that you haven’t yet cashed, do it or risk unfulfillment of said fundage.
* It is very hard to train for a marathon (or, in my case, a half) if you can’t really run on a treadmill and the weather is, say, below 30. That’s cruel and unusual punishment that this little quasi-runner doesn’t mess with,
* I can write about whatever I damn well please on this website, and if you disagree or have issue with that, stop reading it then. Or call Chuck Stone at UNC and see HIS thoughts on censorship (a class that I, outstandingly enough, got a big fat ‘A’ in.)
* I really need to do my expense report but am just too darned lazy to walk across the office and get the much-needed charge number for it. That said, I think I should do it tomorrow to avoid aforementioned overdraft even if any and all moneys are to go to my (forever increasing-balanced) credit cards to reimburse prior work purchases.
* I had a very strange dream about Wrightsville Beach flooding, my friend Beth’s wedding, and driving to the bank. Any thoughts on what THAT means?
* I think I may have broken my pinkie toe this morning, making me wonder if my little toenail is going to fall off and, if it does, how long will it take to grow back in because, dammit, spring pedi season is right around the corner…
* I am touched beyond belief that my ‘call for comments’ actually elicited a response, especially the one that showed the karma results of fu*king with a “tranguch”. Be forewarned.
* I would second that notion about fu*king with a Sabala. Just multiply it by 5 and shiver in fear, because the Gods of Karma are statistically needing to be on my side any day now.

And on that, my happygiddiness and my fractured toenail are going for a pre-date preparatory run.

2 thoughts on “Nonsequitors

  1. Aubrey,
    Whats black, creased multiple times, terribly out of place compared to its 9 best friends and extremely ugly to the eye?
    Answer: Your toenail that is about to die
    Have a great day!

  2. The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder – a waif, a nothing, a no man. Have a purpose in life and having it, throw such strength of mind and muscle into your work as life has given you.
    Your purpose is to entertain us and you do so very well 🙂

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