stargazing

GEMINI:
Monday, March 10

Unpredictable Uranus takes up residence in Pisces and the sector of your solar chart governing your professional and social ambitions until 2010, with a brief break between September and December 2003. Overall, it’s fair to assume that where you are now (and your current fame and fortune level) is not where you’ll be when it’s done.

Really, now. That’s certainly interesting…I think this warrants a Gap Analysis on Me: Current vs. Me: future.

OCCUPATION STATUS
Current Me: Neophyte web-writer (blogger, perhaps) with a moderate audience
Future Me: World famous writer on all things non-political and non-serious in nature (besides the serious faux pas that is white before Easter.)

HEALTH STATUS
Current Me: Sore-throated and large-glanded
Future Me: The picture of health, thanks to an intentional overdose of the FDA-suggested allowance of Vitamin C. Oh, and some ammoxicilin.

FORTUNE STATUS
Current Me: Fortun-ate to have a job.
Future Me: Making excel spreadsheets on the best way to distribute my assets and wealth amongst my favorite causes (i.e., J. Crew, eating out, all-day-drinking fests at outdoor locales…)

RELATIONSHIP STATUS
Current Me: Single, I suppose.
Future Me: Battering down the hatches to fend off admiring suitors who bought a star map for $5 on Rodeo Drive and have been stalking me ever since.

FAME STATUS
Current Me: While the potential is there, and I DO get to call John Mayer’s publicist and I DID get a call from The Bachelor asking me to send in a video tape, I’d say moderate at best.
Future Me: An icon, starlet, and, if all else fails, a movie star.

PALLOR STATUS
Current Me: Lobster.
Future Me: <a href="Tan & Taut.

Now, as we all know, a Gap Analysis often lays out the current state, the future state and the plan to get from current to future (and note that future often equals optimal.) So a plan. Hmm. Well, I’ll start with some Aloe and hope it goes from there….

10 thoughts on “stargazing

  1. Never mess with a woman willing to wear a late-80s prom dress out to Mardi Gras party!!! Bald noonies are the bomb, baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Dude, no one should be mentioning “bald noonies” on my site. Are you trying to get the pervs onto my site via keyword search?? Let’s just pretend you were talking about “Bald Goonies”, i.e., Sloth. Right. We’re straight now.

  3. Since someone mentioned Sloth and that was my nickname in middle school, I thought I would email. Aubrey, I will give you 5 guesses as to who this is and another clue. I went to middle school and high school with you. Your site is really interesting. It looks like you have lots of cool parties and events. Start guessing!

  4. Hmm, a challenge. Well, if your initials are
    D. K.
    and you at one time wanted to name your child
    “Asshole”, I think I know.
    Do I win a NEEEWWW CAARRRRR, complete with California Transmission, for answering correctly?

  5. You win a new car!! Just kidding! I (Doug Kane) am at Ohio State finishing my Ph.D in Evolution, Ecology, and Organismal Biology. I am working on Lake Erie and have spent the past 8 summers at Put-In-Bay. I don’t think I am going to name any kids asshole now. I am getting married in June and I don’t think Melissa would approve of that name. Maybe I can convince her of naming kids Sugar, Citizen, Candy, Hurri, and Oldmanwitha.

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