Dear Brewmakers of America,
Thank you for letting me taste each and every one of your delightful beverages the other evening at Red White & Brew. I especially enjoyed spilling an entire beer in my purse as well as down both the front and the back of myself — I’m quite nimble in that arena.
Dear Bandmembers of Loose Chain,
My sincere thanks for letting me not only shake my ‘groove thang’ on stage at Red White & Brew, but for playing the tambourine. I truly am quite talented.
Dear Random Girl in the Crowd,
I must offer you my thanks for helping me stay on rhythm when I was playing the tambourine on stage at Red, White & Brew. Without you motioning with your arms to keep me on the beat, I would have made a big fool of myself.
Dear Hot 24-Year Old at Red White & Brew,
It was great meeting you even if you didn’t want to come with me to again fill up my glass. I have some very nice pictures of the back of your head on my site.
Dear Everyone in my Cell Phone,
Just a quick note to let you know how much I loved leaving you messages the other night after Red, White & Brew. I’m sure I made a lot of sense as I sang you
Dear Mike & Wil,
I’m sorry I missed your call the other night — I was engaged in a delightful interaction with Jake’s Toilet. You have true talent to sing Genuine.
Dear Jake’s Toilet,
I am sorry that I threw up in you.