So I’m sitting here, trying very hard to maintain concentration, which we all know isn’t one of my strong suits to begin with, and trying to think about something, ANYTHING, to write about instead of writing about what has happened today.

I know it’s not in my best interest to publicize what should be a private matter between friends, but I’m just a bit worked up and so baffled by the lunacy that is my life today that I can’t go without talking about it.

First, let me use the huge disclaimer that a lot of you aren’t going to understand this, and it’s fine. I’m not using this medium to prove a point to anyone nor am I using it to state a rebuttal or a response. I’m using it to sort out my thoughts and say a few general things about friendship.

We all know I’m a dreamer, a romantic, and I’ve been known to glamorize things in the past and have thus ended up disillusioned. I’ve defended ex-boyfriends to friends who said they were bad for me, that they didn’t treat me well enough, that I deserved better. In the end, my friends were right, and I was to blame for not listening to them more closely, or for not listening to said boyfriend at the time when he showed his true colors. Despite me ignoring their advice now and again, I adore my friends. As an only child, they are my family. They are the frequent subject of my entries here, and I am 100% honest when I say I don’t know what I would do without them.

And thus I’m faced with this possibility right now – losing a friend. And it breaks my heart.

Girl-friends and Guy-friends bring two very different viewpoints to any discussion and to any relationship. There are things I would never discuss with a guy, mostly of the gynecological nature, yet there are also topics that I feel I get better advice from them on. Take relationships. If I’m torn up about why so-and-so hasn’t called or what he’s thinking, I go to my support network of adorable guy friends who unfallibly tell it like it is, give me good advice, and throw in a (much needed) compliment or two before sending me on my merry way. I’ve often said that the only thing missing in Atlanta would be a best friend that was a guy. (I did have one once, but made the mistake of hooking up with them, a line that should never be crossed, and a story for another time, another place.)

Which brings up a good point – am I on the “Harry” side or the “Sally” side of guys and girls being able to be just friends? I’d lean towards the Harry side, since I believe most great guy-girl friendships include an element of flirtation, if not straight out sexual tension. Will you – should you – act on it? Usually, no. Is it harmless? For the most part. It only gets tricky when one person realizes that their feelings are stronger than friendship, and since this is not the case in this story, I digress.

This story is about what I’d like to call the ‘blood vs. water’ phenomenon, what happens when a guy-friend and a girl-friend and a girlfriend (the real type, the one that the guy-friend sleeps in the bed with) come head to head. When one feels threatened, when one thinks boundaries are crossed, when one feels mistreated or disrespected or ignored or angered or anything that upsets the dynamic, it’s messy. It’s REALLY messy. Everyone thinks they’re right. Everyone KNOWS they have a valid point, and everyone hates being in the middle. Emotions get involved and next thing you know it’s a Celebrity Death Match between ‘girl-friend’ and ‘girlfriend’ with ‘guy-friend’ as the referee.

And when things really get out of control, it comes to the point where guy-friend is either told or feels like he has to choose between the two of them. It’s a lose-lose situation, friendships are changed, feelings are hurt, and nobody comes out winning.

And it sucks.

Welcome to my week.