Lately, our local radio station, Q100, has been talking about a topic that I’ve been meaning to discuss for a while: the double standard.

We all know just which double standard I’m referring to – the acceptable promiscuity gap between men and women, or, in plain English, a man is allowed to sleep with as many women as he wants, whereas if a woman matched his behavior, she would be considered a slut, a whore, and (my favorite), a trollop.

I’m not going to take the time to discuss the veracity of this statement – anyone who lives in the 21st century knows that this is the case, whether they agree with it or not. That is not the issue. Nor am I going to delve into the biological and evolutionary reasons for male promiscuity being accepted (the argument that men’s sperm are cheap, based on the sole number as well as their investment in childbirth, whereas women’s eggs are expensive, using the same crieria, and that male promiscuity has thus been rewarded – again, little cost besides the cost of pursuit – while female promiscuity has been discouraged – i.e., every potential mating could result in childbirth, thus huge cost.) Yes, those are the evolutionary theories behind the phenomenon, though I want to discuss why this continues to be the way.

We’re not monkeys, babboons, neanderthal men. We’re an evolved species, albeit still only using approximately 15% of our brains, but at least we THINK we know why we do what we do. Moreover, we claim to have free will. In the United States alone, we made the decision to abolish slavery, to allow women to vote, and to allow contraceptive options far more advanced than the ‘counting’ or ‘pull out’ method (though both are still actively tested by young hornies all over the world to this day.) I won’t go all NOW-y on you, and talk about equal rights and burning my bras (far too expensive to be burning those suckers, by the way – the female undergarment industry is truly out to screw us), but this societal norm irks me to the nth degree.

Bear in mind, my friends, that I’m not looking to go be all whore-y, traipsing my goods all over Metro Atlanta to get my proverbial rocks off. (And note that I do realize that this statement was necessary to mention, since societal norm would lead some of you to believe that I’m covering this topic because I DO want to go sleep with a lot of people since I’m talking about it, and that by doing so, I would be a whore.) See? You can’t escape it. Women are taught from a young age that sex is something to be ashamed of, to talk about in hushed tones, to hide from their parents. This issue sparks mixed feelings, because the decrease in age in promiscuity these days DOES alarm me, and I have yet to find a valid reason why a 12-year old should be having sex. Teenage pregnancy, though supposedly decreasing in prevalence, is an epidemic nevertheless. And it’s sad. Sex, plain and simple, is taboo, and as a result, many aren’t getting the needed education and hiding their sexuality away in a little secret place in themselves because they feel its wrong. This is just the way things are.

The most frustrating part of this is that while girls disagree with it and guys disagree with it, nothing has changed. Social acceptance of male promiscuity still abounds, with boys getting the pat on their back when losing their virginity and girls lying about it to avoid being labeled as a whore. Though shows like Sex & the City portray women comfortable with their sexuality – some, like Samantha, far more than comfortable – the reality is that if Samantha was our friend, we’d likely call her our ‘slutty’ friend. Because that’s the way things are.

This has caused many to believe that women don’t like sex. On the contrary…though I will admit that for some reason, there’s an emotional attachment that guys just don’t have. Be it an evolutionary throwback to the potential outcome of each sexual encounter or the way we were raised, women are either kidding themselves or making an active effort to dodge the feelings associated with sex when they say that it didn’t mean anything.

This brings up an interesting point – though it would be very difficult to even talk hypothetically here, since our reality is all that we know, but if the stigma of promiscuity for women was removed, would more women actually BE more promiscuous? Because today, all of those men that are being promiscuous are doing it with someone, just that those ‘someones’ are often labeled as whores. If that title was removed, would we find that women’s urges and desires are just as strong as men’s? Possibly.

I feel like I’m talking in circles here because, well, basically I am. The reality is that men who sleep around are ‘cads’ or ‘studs’ or ‘playboys’, while women who engage in the same behavior with these cads & studs & playboys are ‘whores’ and ‘sluts’. There’s not likely to be any major change in societal norms or acceptance, sending us into a hornball utopian orgy, because there still exists “the women that guys date and the women that guys marry.” Ludicrous? Of course. Reality? Sad, but true.