My Future Beaux

Wanted: Tall, Dark and Handsome.
If not tall, then medium.
If not medium, then short is ok too.
If not dark, then medium. Or light. Really, I’m easy.
As for handsome, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If I think you’re darling, then you just are.

Wanted: A man who swoons, woos, flatters, and delights.
Swoonage & wooage should be limited to me alone (and in a platonic sense, your mother, sisters, nieces, nephews & daughters, as well as cute babies of friends.) Public signs of swoonage & wooage include gazing lovingly at me from across the room when we’re at a party, talking to our friends, and not having to hang or smother me with attention, a random flower or two ‘just because’, and general kindness.

Kindness can never be over-rated, my sweet.

As for flattery, it’s always appreciated, but bonus points to anyone who can tell me when I’m 9 months prego that I look like a Goddess. Actually, telling me any time that I look like a Goddess is a bonus.

Flattery will get you everywhere, my darling.

You’re my delight.

Wanted: Intelligence, Patience & Ingenuity. If you can’t provide me with stimulating and intellectual banter, if you spell like a first-grader, if you don’t know the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ or ‘their’ and ‘there’, then please, just go back and smother yourself with a pillow. Or at least go find yourself a pageant contestant whose beauty outrivals her brains tenfold. As for patience, I don’t have any. I need yours. Thanks in advance.

For these purposes, ‘ingenuity’ is a synonym for ‘handy’. Now, I can’t cook or even do electrical work to save my life, but every now and again I can whip up a feast or re-wire my bathroom. Similar traits are expected.

Wanted: Security. Not necessarily in the financial or physical sense, per se (though that’s always a plus), but security in our relationship. If you want to go to a bachelor party, go ahead. I trust you – or at least I’d better. Just show me common courtesy, affection, trust, honesty, and throw in a bit of adoration and security will come complete.

Wanted: Imperfection. Got stomach problems? Hairy toes? A funny mole (out of sight, that is)? It’s all good. I’ll adore you for your good points and love you even more for your imperfections.

I don’t need, nor do I particularly want, a perfect guy. I’d much rather find the perfect guy for me.

How hard can that be?

4 thoughts on “My Future Beaux

  1. If you really want to find the perfect guy for you, than dispose of this list (as cute and well written as it is) and just live your life. Don’t go around with any preconceived notions of what are and are not good traits in a boy for you. You never know what and who is perfect for you until all of a sudden you realize that you’re head over heels in love with a guy and it just fits. It happened to me, it can and will happen to you.

  2. I like your list (it’s very well written). It isn’t a picky list, and you aren’t limiting your choices (except for stupid people, and that’s not a loss). You want your guy to cover all the basics, nothing wrong with that! Have faith, he’s out there 🙂

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