Friendships, like relationships, go through different phases. Sometimes you’re the best of buddies; other times, you’re lucky to get in a call even once a month. People come in and out of our lives at different times, and while it’s unfortunate that we can’t keep the same friends forever, it’s also not realistic. I’ve discussed this before in one of my posts and despite the fact that I was able to successfully sever ties with this person, I found it’s not that easy. Like that Krispy Kreme you couldn’t resist or the Jello shots from the previous night, friendships past inevitably come back to haunt you.

I suppose it’s the same way with relationships, but I can’t really say since I’ve rarely had the situation where you still find yourself having to hang out with your ex. You can draw pretty clear lines when you break up – the return of the t-shirts, DVDs and the separation of friends goes a long way, and eventually it gets easier. Yet with a friend that you’ve broken up with, those lines aren’t so clear.

As I’ve said, friendships come and go. My breaking point is trust – when I find that I can no longer trust a friend, I try and avoid interactions as much as possible. It’s a shame, really – I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, often more than I should. Yet there comes a time when Occam’s Razor must take effect; i.e., the simplest explanation is the one most likely to be correct, and after hearing a dozen or so “likely stories”, it just gets old. REAL old.

Still, it’s not that simple. You were friends at one time, and though you chose to end it, there is often a feeling of guilt associated with it, especially if you don’t come right out and say the reasons why you’re “breaking up” with said friend. As in relationships, there’s two ways out: the coward’s way, which is just the non-returning of phone calls, eventually drifting apart without explicitly stating a reason, and the harder, yet more valiant method, having a heart-to-heart and telling the other person what’s on their mind. And though I frequently chastise an ex for pulling the coward’s way on me, I am loathe to admit that I’ve done the very same thing when it comes to breaking up with a friend.

And so we find ourselves in one uncomfortable situation after the next, wondering who was right and who was wrong, feelings hurt and someone always feeling like they were justified in their actions. Apparently, NOT all’s fair in love and war, especially when it comes to friendships.