Sitting around the table talking with some friends, I found myself laughing over the silliest things, laughing so loudly, in fact, that I got “shushed.” By a girl. Bitch…doesn’t she know that we were doing what we do best? Getting together over a few glasses of wine, a few Sapporos, some sushi, and the chatting about this and that. Of course, the topic of conversation inevitably went the way it always does: Talking about Boys.
Yes, despite whether or not these are old friends, new friends or even mere acquaintances, discussing our love lives seems to be the common thread that binds us all. Run into someone you haven’t seen in a while? I promise you that within five minutes they’ll ask if you’re dating anyone or will inquire as to how your love life is going. Single, Married, Attached, or permanent bachelorette, whatever your ‘status’, it’s a regular topic of conversation.
Perhaps it’s because we all go through the same experiences whether we’re in Pittsburgh, Peoria or Pensacola. Girls at this age (mid-to-mid 20’s; I refuse to EVER say “late”) seemingly have a one-track mind. Yes, jobs are important. Buying a house, getting a puppy, volunteering, caring for friends and family – yes, those DO take precedence. Yet despite women’s lib and the feminist movement, despite Oprah urging us to “live our best lives”, despite our Moms (or maybe it’s only mine) repeating the mantra that “we don’t need a man to make us complete”, I think that many 20-somethings, whether they want to or not, still feel that having a boyfriend/significant other/husband really IS the most important thing.
I’ve gone through phases…I didn’t date a ton in high school, and when I did, it certainly wasn’t very serious. As for college, pretty similar – lots of dates, lots of kisses, but no looking-into-each-other’s-eyes-imagining-our-children swooning. (Maybe that’s because I spent more time looking-into-lacrosse-players’-eyes-and-trying-to-focus-after-that-last-shot, but who knows.) At age 26 (and 3 months minus 1 day away from the big 2-7, damnit,) I feel like I’m in a pretty good place. I’m dating, I’m enjoying my dinners and conversations and outings and getting to know new people and even the late night messages (it’s not a booty call if you don’t answer, after all) that I’ve been experiencing. I’m happily engaged in my routine of dinners on Sunday with My Darling Roommate where I cook everything out of Cooking Light, Martha Stewart ‘Food’ and Southern Living that I can find/fit in my cart at Publix, Mondays bringing racquetball & Thursdays ushering in some No-Limit Texas Hold ’em. And while I feel like I’d like a boyfriend at some point in the future, I don’t know how one would currently fit into my little idyllic life, complete with a bevy of avocados, 7-layer Chocolate Coconut Bars and lackadaisically lounging around in our PJ pants and talking about who’s harder up for an evening of passion.
And so I find myself looking at it all with a new attitude…that things are actually pretty great. A romantic relationship, while formerly being the main course that I was seeking for so long, is now a mere cherry on the top of the best mint-chocolate chip sundae I’ve ever had. And trust me, it’s tasty.
AubreySabala.com 
You’ve got to love a title with a double-meaning. For the uninitiated or Non-ATLiens, Cherry is a restaurant with some good Sushi and the best Pork Chop and Macaroni and Cheese in the world.
As for the thing about being shushed (which is only acceptable to do to someone in a movie theater), I’ve always figured that tolerating other people should actually be considered good manners as well, sure, you may have been being loud (in a loud restaurant, mind you), but shouldn’t criticizing other people’s manners in public be even worse an offense? That’s how I look at it anyway.
I think sometimes it is a case of seek and ye shall not find. When you stop trying so hard it all falls into place.
When I stopped looking for someone and started to concentrate on other things, like buying an apartment, I met my now wife within in a few weeks. That was when I was 32 had always been trying so hard to find the perfect person. All of a sudden *ping* she was there! In an Indian restaurant of all places. She slways says that she didn’t really notice me because she was concentrating so hard on the all-you-can-eat buffet, but when I saw her I couldn’t speak because she was so amazingly beautiful.
I love what you write – please keep it going forever!
I think sometimes it is a case of seek and ye shall not find. When you stop trying so hard it all falls into place.
When I stopped looking for someone and started to concentrate on other things, like buying an apartment, I met my now wife within in a few weeks. That was when I was 32 had always been trying so hard to find the perfect person. All of a sudden *ping* she was there! In an Indian restaurant of all places. She slways says that she didn’t really notice me because she was concentrating so hard on the all-you-can-eat buffet, but when I saw her I couldn’t speak because she was so amazingly beautiful.
I love what you write – please keep it going forever!
I agree w/ Andrew….you do have a way with words Aubrey. Have you ever considered writing for a living, or at least a sideline? That whole last paragraph was just, well yummy. 🙂
Y’all are sweet, and yes – I actually AM a writer by living for a major Search Engine. (I’m sure y’all have heard of it.) I also do a lot of freelancing locally, including restaurant reviews, editorials, technical articles, & the like. Am glad to hear that you enjoy my writing & my style.
That brings up a great point, though. As a freelancer, I’m always up for new writing opportunities. Hear that, people? I’m for hire!!
Interesting post. I’ve always wondered why you don’t link hollismb http://hollismb.homeip.net/ as one of your required reading links. I think he has a crush on you.
When are you going to marry your roommate and pull the plug on this addictive site?
Ahhh….yeah I saw that you work for Google, but didn’t know quite what you did. Well, that makes me feel a lot better that you are actually getting paid for your verbal brilliance. 🙂
With all the guys kissing your ass over here, you should have that cherry pretty quick.
I did really like your post though. It’s nice to have some clarity on the subject of relationships, and it sounds like you certainly do.
I love this post! It’s so nice to relate to an absolute stranger, though I wish I had your mother! Deep South Mama-o-mine certainly thinks only a man will complete me, while I’ve got more pressing issues on my mind these days. It took a lot to overcome the push to get my MRS in college and now years later she just doesn’t know what to think of me!