Sometimes, when the day is dragging along, you need to take a break. Walk outside, go get yo’self some IceDream from the formerly-handy-yet-now-since-you’re-a-vegetarian-pretty-worthless Chik-Fil-A across the street, or even just hit the mall to do a little retail therapy. Anything to break up the monotony that is reading 15,000 keywords and trying to decide whether they fall under “Ceramic Tile” or just plain “Flooring.”

I wouldn’t call this procrastination, per se, more like mental health respites, where – since you have to be at work anyway, you may as well take a few minutes off from staring at the screen (which is likely going to cause glaucoma or some other horrific disease in years to come once they determine that computer monitors give off radiation or something) and take a breather.

You can do this in many different ways – my old officemate and I would hit the mall and take a long, lazy lunch while taking smack about that asshole coworker who told you that you could be promoted in 3-5 years. It was sure to make us feel better; that is, until the jackass came in the office and did his inappropriate over-laugh about something ridiculously unfunny like why HE should be doing that report on epidemiology in sub-saharan Africa instead of you. Then it was back to the grindstone, trying to find another way to raise our spirits without actually raising any spirits (in the toasting of alcohol sense, that is.)

And yet my favorite pick-me-up came from my first job here in Atlanta. My friend and I, when things were being especially dismal, would shut the door and just laugh for what seemed like eternity on the dumbest thing. And four years later, I still find myself opening the browser and putting a little bit of sunshine into my day when all I want to really do is take a nap.

Pretty pathetic, though, that this relief comes from the automated voice on Miriam-Webster.com pronouncing the word “fart.” I really, truly think I have the sense of humor of a 3rd grade boy. But, c’mon, you can’t tell me that this isn’t pretty hilarious….