The dating and relationship business is a profitable one. Just think how much money Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo have made on their book alone, since it’s sold out nationwide! Multiply that by the thousands of books, tapes, CD’s and even television shows that deal with this issue and I’d suggest that it’s second only to the dieting industry in terms of revenue. Truly, this nation, this world, is obsessed with finding true love.
That’s not to say it’s not valuable; I know that I, for one, am just as enamored with the idea of love as the next person. (And I assure you, the next person is probably my roommate, my office mate, or my best friend.) Love is universal, and we are relentless in its discovery and pursuit, though you’d think that all of these books and advice would actually get us somewhere. You’d THINK.
When it comes down to it, I say it’s not that confusing. Really, it isn’t.
A few weeks back, I realized that despite my rants and raves and suggestions and epiphanies, it’s a lot simpler than even I thought. I was at a dear friend’s wedding, and after a long few days of imbibing, I found myself in the company of a delightful young lad who we’ll call “VT” to preserve his anonymity. (Not that he would need it, given his ebullient nature, but I’m considerate like that.) Anyway, the wedding was extravagant, fantastic, the perfect weekend full of breakfasts and brunches and lunches and dinners and dances, and at each event there was a common theme: alcohol.
Now, we know how I get when there’s some imbibing to be done…I liken myself to a whirlwind on speed. I’m even more talkative, animated, and oftentimes ridiculous than normal, which we know is seemingly impossible. And I’m also more bold – anyone who’s been graced by one of my drunk dials can attest to this. So as I’m enjoying VT’s company, dancing and talking and generally being drunken fools, I kept saying to him, “You adore me. I know you do! Tell me you adore me!” Thankfully, he was as many sheets to the wind as I was, and though I’m sure he found this somewhat annoying, he had the good graces that only a true Southerner does and didn’t run in the other direction. Granted, I knew full well how silly I was being, but at the time, I must have felt the need to be adored.
Which is when it hit me. That’s what I want, what we ALL want. Flowers are nice, candy is appreciated, but when it comes down to it, we need your thoughtfulness, your consideration, your devotion more than anything else. We not only want, but we need the unexpected phone calls, the surprises that aren’t monetary, but are just kind in their very nature. Save your money, gentleman, and spend a Saturday going with us to a wedding that you don’t want to go to instead of the typical football-watching afternoon with the guys. Actions speak a lot louder than words, and while we DO like to be told that we’re adored, what we really want, at the end of the day, is to know it, unequivocally.
Can’t get much simpler than that.