There’s something wonderful about the beginning of a new romance. It’s like you’re walking on air. The things that usually bother you don’t seem that important when you’re swooning and sighing and mentally planning all the fun times that you’re going to have together. It’s an adrenaline rush, 24/7. That’s that thing about new romance – it has all the potential in the world.
He calls. You swoon. You make romantic moments out of the mundane, and have that knot in your stomach before you see him. Lingerie is purchased, innuendos are spoken, and flirting is at an all-time high. The British call it ‘Early Days’, and I think that’s just about accurate. The only problem is that the very moniker also requires that you have the opposite; namely, “Late Days.” And that’s when the problems begin.
It’s far too easy to take each other for granted. Whereas you used to talk all the time, now a few days can pass without you speaking. You’re not each other’s first thought in the morning, nor the person you call before you go to bed, drunk OR sober. Life has a way of doing this, squeezing in, pushing apart some of that closeness without you realizing it, until one day you realize you haven’t seen each other in what seems like forever, and you’ve gotten used to it.
Welcome to “Late Days.”
Though I’m not a psychologist, I suspect that too many relationships and marriages end in this way, with people putting others (both people and things) before their partners. They relate to someone, or something, new and due to convenience or closeness or even proximity, the place which was once held by your beloved is now being held by another. If it’s to work out, there needs to be the acknowledgement of this situation and strides to fix it, to return to what it once was. To return to the “Early Days.”
In my life, I’ve only seen a handful of couples, at various ages and stages in their lives, who have that spark after being together for some time. Sad, I know, but I look to them when I get disconcerted about this or that, knowing that the couple didn’t get there standing idly by; instead, they worked at it. Every. Single. Day. They probably disagreed and argued and got upset and yet, at the end of the day, at the end of the many weeks and months and years, they knew that what they had was special and that very bond wasn’t to be disrespected. And so that ‘spark’ remained, because they not only showed each other that respect, they also had it for the union of their relationship or marriage.
Though I’ve had my share of “Early Days” and a few too many “Late Days”, I recently dated someone who still caused me to have that knot in my stomach, that fantastic surge of excitement every time I saw him, even six months later. And no matter what the future may bring, between us or between others, I know that feeling, and won’t settle for anything less. I want my “Early Days” to last.