The Official Presidential Debate Drinking Game

It’s that time again – the Debates are on tonight, and there’s nothing more fun than getting inebriated courtesy of our two candidates. I’ve found a few versions of these on the web, but think that the one below (created by taking the best of the ones I saw online) far surpasses the others. Thus, I present you with:

The Official Presidential Debate Drinking Game

George W. Bush: He’s standing up in this picture


Take a sip of your drink if:

  • Bush snickers inappropriately
  • Bush says “terror”
  • Bush talks about the coalition of the willing
  • Bush’s eyebrows move as if independent of his face.
  • Bush says “nuc-u-lar”
  • Bush refers to a “pre 9/11 mind-set”
  • Bush says “evildoer”
  • Bush uses “Saddam” and “al Qaeda” in the same sentence
  • Bush talks about “turning the corner”
  • Bush brings up the “Global Test” that Kerry mentioned in the last debate
  • Bush says “Wrong War, Wrong Time”
  • Bush mentions the word “safer”
  • Bush makes up a word
  • Bush mentions Crawford,TX

John Kerry: Proud owner of “Sure” deodorant

Take one sip of your drink if:

  • Kerry points his finger in clearly rehearsed indignation
  • Kerry talks about help from our allies
  • Kerry says “W stands for Wrong”
  • Kerry begins a sentence with “The truth is…”
  • Kerry brings up his Purple Hearts
  • Kerry brings up Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” moment
  • Kerry mentions Bush wants to reinstate the draft
  • Kerry rolls his eyes
  • Kerry refers to the UN
  • You see Kerry’s face visibly sag.

Take two sips of your drink if:

  • Either candidate is warned that his time is running low
  • Either candidate talks past their time limit
  • Either candidate says, “Jim, I’m glad you asked that question”
  • Either candidate uses the term “flip flopped”
  • Either candidate mentions Bush’s National Guard service
  • Either candidate talks about “letting the terrorists win”
  • Either candidate mentions “Axis of Evil”, “North Korea”, “Saddam Hussein”, “Freedom”, or “The American People”
  • Either candidate mentions blogs or their URL
  • Either candidate looks at the wrong camera
  • Either candidate refers to an “ordinary American”

Finish Your Glass If:

  • Anyone in the audience gets dragged out of the auditorium
  • Anyone in the audience gets off an unscripted question
  • Bush mispronounces any word or name
  • Anyone says “Osama bin Hidin'”
  • Anyone uses a sports metaphor
  • Anyone attempts to speak Spanish to pander to Latinos

Do a Shot If:

  • Bush mentions the deficit
  • Bush accuses Kerry of being “French on terrorism”
  • Kerry accuses Bush of being a pansy for avoiding Vietnam
  • Bush admits he made a mistake (“miscalculation” counts)
  • Ralph Nader shows up insisting on airtime

Finish the Bottle If:

  • Anyone challenges anyone to a duel
  • The moderator rips off his mask to reveal his true identity is Karl Rove
  • Kerry sweats off his fake tan or uses the word “lock-box”
  • Bush calls John Edwards “the Breck girl” or mentions “weapons of mass destruction-related program activities”

One thought on “The Official Presidential Debate Drinking Game

  1. Regarding your halloween costume…How about a bag of groceries? Easily done by getting a roll of brown paper for mailing packages, and two pieces of card board, creating the bag. Draw a pig on the front with the words “Piggly Wiggly” . Use duck tape secured to the insides of bag for shoulder straps, and fasten (with staples or tape) empty food boxes from your cabinets, egg cartons, etc.
    A long receipt can be used to hide the seam on the back of the costume. Dress in brown or khakis, and voila!
    A few other ideas that are simple are: Smurfette, Jem, and a a BOO BEE.
    Just dress as a bee with a sign that says “BOO”

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