Watching Pretty Woman is as close as I get to being Richard Gere

In my last post, I mentioned my **BRAND SPANKIN’ NEW JOB** within Google (it’s not like I’m RIDICULOUSLY excited, or anything here), but didn’t go into much detail. I’m going to now, so forgive me in advance for some techno nerd-speak.

Google recently acquired a web analytics company called Urchin (, allowing us to take our services to clients to the next level. Prior to this acquisition, we had limited insight on what happened after our users clicked on the ads and gets to the client websites. Now, if clients want to use this product & give us access, we’re able to discern a ton of helpful information, allowing the clients to put their money where it’s working for them and converting the most profitably. Previously a huge frustration heard from our clients, we can now deliver on many of the things they’ve been asking for. The MOST exciting part is that I’m going to be working with the Urchin team to meet clients all over the country to promote this product, help with its implementation and continued development, and train our teams on how to use the software. Yes, I’m a huge nerd, but I’m elated that I’m getting to make such an impact.

Anyway, one benefit of working on this fabu team of super-smart people is that I get to learn about the product & all its reports on MY website. Oh yes, that means that I know that approximately 53 unique people from the great land of Australia have come to my site in the month of July alone, and that I have at least one fan from Warszawa, Poland. (Hi there!) It also means that without a doubt, I can see what queries people are entering into search engines (like Google, of course) and that they’re finding my site from some, um, interesting queries. Some are to be expected (i.e., "shesheme", "Aubrey website" or even one of my favorite songs, "waiting for my real life to begin") but then there’s the queries that make little sense to me, beguiling ones like "non-biting guinea pigs" and "boys buttcracks". And then there’s the one that caused me not just to laugh out loud, ping half of the office in amusement, and sit, perplexed, for the last five minutes, trying to figure out just HOW somebody on Google found me when they were really looking for "Aubrey the ass hamster." Because really, I just don’t see the similarity between me & Richard Gere.