Some of my biggest disappointments have come from facing reality. No, it’s not the blindsided losses that have rattled me; instead, it’s more of when I – or others – make me face the truth that was there all along that I’d chosen to ignore, or at least talk myself into turning a blind eye against. I’m a startlingly perceptive person – many writers are – but it’s in wishing that my intuition wasn’t accurate that I find myself creating an alternate reality.
That’s not to say I live in a dreamworld – quite the contrary. It’s that I prefer to be optimistic, going for the golden ring of possibility though frought with obstacles, instead of contentedly acquiescing that my goal, whatever it may be, is likely unrealistic. There’s no knight in shining armor coming to rescue me, I’ll readily admit that, and yet I still prefer to look for some semblance of happily ever after, actively embracing the potentially rocky road as the path.
A cynical friend is convinced I’m obsessed with the unattainable – the guy that lives too far away to make it work is the latter day unavailable football player of high school days past. While I recognize my tendency to push barriers, I disagree that it’s a concerted self-sabotage for someone who’s not really ‘ready’ for the next step. Instead, it’s part situational, part personal preference, and part human nature to want the dream come true. Throw in a few adages – "Good things come to those who wait" and "Anything worth doing is worth doing the hard way" and you’ve pretty much got my view on life. I’m in no rush and know what I’m looking for – it’s just that I often don my rose-coloured glasses and imagine the preferred outcome instead of the authentic reality.
No, I’m certainly not living in a dreamworld, though today is one of those days where I naively wish I were. For once, I’d like to bypass the hard road, instead simply wishing it was all easier.