My friend says it’s our turn. That, at age (mid-to-late) twenty (something), we’ve seen enough, we’ve done enough, we’ve dated enough that we DESERVE to get a good one now and again. We have, she asserts, kissed our share of frogs that really, it’s due time for us to find our prince.
I don’t know if I agree.
Granted, I’d LIKE to agree, would LIKE to go by this theory that we’ve paid our dues in the dating world and are next in line for a humdinger of a hunk. Hallelujah, wouldn’t THAT be easy? After years of winding up (or choosing, as it may be) the assholes, it’s time for us to get that gorgeous guy with the sparkling wit, charming manners and unboastful intelligence who finds us to be just as fabulous as we know we really are. Yet I’m cynical…I don’t think it’s a timing thing, at least in the case when ‘timing’ is liken to deservedness. Because, yes, both she and I (and probably most of you reading this) have had your share of crappy relationships. The ones that left you high and dry after months of adoration, the ones that shellshocked you into horrific rebound people, the ones that made you swear of relationships for the foreseeable future. But in the midst of all this strife and heartache I think I’ve found out something about what I want or, at the very least, what I DON’T want. And while I’d trade the anger and the disillusionment and the tears and the general malaise that inevitably comes after love goes awry, I don’t think I’d trade the experience.
These days, I’m jaded. I’m a huge cynic. I really do think that the reality of infidelity marrs the facade of ‘true love’ (whatever that is) and that it’s better to accept all the unsavory aspects of relationships as the norm instead of the exception. (See? Jaded, big time.) I hate that I sound bitter and angry because I promise, I’m not. If anything, I’m just avoiding disillusionment, and – as contrary to everything I’ve just written above – I’m hopeful. I think that going into it all with eyes open is the only way to do it, and that you should keep going forward with all the gusto in the world. I can’t imagine NOT going through it, can’t imagine myself closing myself off to the possibility; I just choose to do it seeing the reality of the situation and (attempting) to accept it. I also know that my views will likely change in, say, 10 minutes or the next time I find myself on an unexpected date with a charming young man who makes my heart skip a beat; then, we all know it, all this theory will be out the window.
I wish there was a statute of limitations on crappy relationships; I just think I’m too jaded these days to believe that there is.