My outfit today is, in a word, hideous.
I usually try to look presentable…no, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I took the extra five minutes to completely dry my hair nor put on makeup, but in lieu of being totally adorable, I at least spend a few minutes deciding what to wear. And usually, if I do say so myself, it turns out ok. Not that I have impeccable taste in clothing or anything (being that ‘impeccable’ requires ‘bottomless cash flow’ to purchase Marni shoes and Prada suits…"Old Navy" and "Target" fit the bill quite nicely for me instead) but I at least know that most capri pants are out, WAY out and that the whole maternity-cum-long shirt look is in. (Thanks, fashion maven in the sky, you’re making me look knocked up with my "too-much-beer-this-weekend" belly. Nice perk, jackass.)
Regardless, I left the house with a sprightly step, thinking how cute, how very SPRINGY I looked. The sun was shining, after all, so I should dress accordingly. It’s only as the day went on that I realized I look like a total toolbag. I’m wearing…
…Jeans – old. Darkish. Cropped-ish. Was I sleepwalking this morning?
…T-Shirt – brown. Pattern on sleeve. Would be ok if I had stopped there, but alas…
…Sweater – hooded. Blue & White striped. J.Crew should have kept the nautical look away from me that year (which reminds me, this sweater isn’t just ugly, it’s OLD and ugly. And it SO doesn’t go with the aforementioned brown shirt.)
And to top it all off, I needed something comfy for my feet, so alas made the worst possibly choice and opted for
…PINK SPARLKLY BALLET SLIPPERS. Really, if I wasn’t looking at it right now in horror I would pray that I was just speaking in hyperbole again and/or it was Halloween.
Truly, I look like a four year-old who just convinced her parents to let her dress herself for school for the first time. I just *KNOW* I would have gotten a black dot on my behavior chart for this getout.
Is it time to go home and change?