When I first launched this website back in 2001, I would send out emails to all sixteen people that read it and liked my daily diatribe. I hand-coded it all, and every time I needed to write something new I would have to manually archive the old article, link to it, write the new one, ftp the files and hope to hell that I didn’t screw up the table structure because really, this genetics major really didn’t know what the hell she was doing in that Dreamweaver thingamadoo. Clearly, this was pre-blogger era.
Though my traffic was quite spartan (remember, this was around the time my Mom was still learning how to turn on the computer and email was a far-reaching dream for many), I found that I got a lot of feedback. Perhaps it was just the result of an under-saturated maket; a website like mine was novel, a unique form of communication that I used to stay in touch with my far-flung friends. As such, they were quite specific in their reactions…they never missed an opportunity to tell me that the article where I fell asleep in my soup in New Zealand was brilliant or that really, I should keep my antagonistic feelings toward my ex to myself. Either way, they had an opinion.
How things have changed.
Fast forward five years, and while I get a comment now and again (surprising, since my site traffic would make you think I’d get more, but I digress), it’s been a while since anyone has actually taken the time to send me an email about my posts (Mom-induced randoms that she directed here notwithstanding.) This isn’t a pathetic call for attention (not that it’s below me, of course), but I’m frankly surprised. I don’t need to hear glowing reviews, and am not yet masochistic enough to say I welcome your angry hate mail, but the lack of either makes me wonder if there’s really anyone out there.
The opposite of love isn’t hate, you know, it’s indifference. For once, I’m lookin’ for a bit o’ hate.