Ruminations on “A Tribute”

I wasn’t complaining; really,  I wasn’t. I was IMing with my guy friend about my grouchiness earlier this morning, and I was just making a statement about guys (or one in particular) and did that thing that we all do, that over-generalizing thing. You know what I’m talking about (you do it too!) – that thing whereas if John has done X, Y, and Z, then ALL guys have ALSO done X, Y, and Z. (Where X=jerk action #1, Y=asshole remark #2 and Z=total lack of understanding why X & Y would anger us gals.)

I know, I know, I need to stop.

All guys AREN’T the same.

I remember, years back, when I was able to acknowledge that girls were attracted to assholes instead of the nice guy. I was able to hypothesize why this was so, and yet still found myself again and again choosing the wrong one. I even QUOTE one that, in retrospect, epitomizes so much that I’ve come to hate that I am embarrassed to even link to the article (except, of course, to continue with my point.)

It’s over three years later. And I’ve changed. That’s not to say that I still don’t find myself attracted, per se, to aforementioned assholes; it’s just that it doesn’t matter. That’s not who – or what – I want. Even in casual dating (or even flirting) I find the decisions I’m making today being VERY different than the ones I made three years ago. In short, asshole attraction is just no longer that attractive to me.

To counter my earlier  point (the over-generalizing one where I stated, and unfortunately I quote: "Whatever. He’s just a guy. Y’all are all the same."), Jason replied that this ISN’T the case, that there ARE some good guys out there. (He should know – he is one.) He linked me to this "Best of Craigslist" post, which, I am CERTAIN, three years ago I would have mocked. Today, I found myself nodding, because I’ve met those guys, I like those guys, I love those guys. I need those guys. I’ve depended upon them in nearly EVERY SINGLE SITUATION they mention, and you know what?


The one that finally, without seeing it happen, without knowing just exactly when, woke up to realize that what is good and kind is not mutually exclusive with attractive. That yes, one day that good guy WILL get his vindication, and I’d be elated to be the lucky gal on his arm.

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