There’s things in life that can help you regain perspective, and there’s things that can easily make you lose it. Catastrophic events, unfortunately, often provide the former; happier times sometimes provides the latter.
Yet it can be much more subtle than that; an imbalance in one part of your life – be it work, love, family, or others – can tip the scales and make you lose yourself a little bit. Which is what happened lately.
I think it’s the culmination of a lot of different things, but for the past few months, I’ve been a bit lost. I’ve put aside things that make sense, pushed away people that mean a lot to me while I’ve been trying to deal with a lot of little things that add up to a big clusterfuck of existence. As such, things that really aren’t that important seemed monumental; things that actually do mean something came off as trivial. I feel like I’ve been walking in a fog, going through the motions, just trying to get by and get through the day in hopes that the next one would be different. But of course it wasn’t, because you get the same result when you do the same thing. Different actions yield different results; same begets same.
And yet something is different, something has changed; I think it’s just by being back here in my life in Atlanta, a life I left a year ago, surrounded by people that know me and can see through the ‘me’ I’ve been as of late, people that are concerned and are subtly reminding me that the person I was is the person I still am, just a bit hidden. Because I’m still there – the take-no-prisoners, let it slide off her back sorta gal that takes shit from nobody and no one.
So I must apologize for the brief interruption of Aubrey: watch out…things are about to change. I’m back.