Is it any wonder this is my attitude?

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aubrey’s signature double-bird, originally uploaded by fling93.

I’ve never had a month like this, never had a month with more ups and more downs (or perhaps the ups were more like mediums, and the downs more like WAY DOWNS, but regardless, it’s been hard.) With constant travel, a new job w/Google, and most of my life firmly residing in the land of Passive-Aggressiva (a country bordering the fine nations of Dramarama and Can’tYouJustGetOverItAlready), I’ve been somewhat of a mess. For someone like me who likes needs to have control over at least part of her life, being a perpetual observer to the actions around me that instigated the ensuing chaos has been hard. Ok, terrifying. And with them coming one after another after another with no time in between to recoup or even analyze, it’s no wonder that I’m just spent. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.

Thank GOD for my amazing friends, who have been there with the right thing to say and the offer of apps or a glass of wine or just some perspective. Truly, I’m so lucky. Because I know it will get easier, once I just let it all go and let happen what is supposed to. Or, to be crass, when I just say "fuck it."

So when the opportunity to say it comes along – say, by shooting the double bird – it’s no wonder that I embrace it wholeheartedly. Because at this point, I just don’t know what else to do.

One thought on “Is it any wonder this is my attitude?

  1. Yeah, this month’s been kinda like that for me too. Not so much in terms of the number of ups and downs, but in the magnitude, and the highs for me weren’t medium, but were pretty damn high (and in more way than one, heh). But the downs have been devastating (luckily, that Sunday was a good day for me).
    Well, hope things get better for ya. Although I guess if they don’t, it’ll still make for some amusing photo ops. šŸ˜›

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