I’m trying to save money.
Ok, ok, I’ll wait until you stop laughing. I’m SERIOUS here. (You done yet?)
I’ve moved here. I’ve been spending money like I had it, spending like
I wasn’t out an extra $400+ each month on my houses in Atlanta,
spending like I wasn’t living alone in the smallest apartment in all of
the Bay Area with no light and ventilation and a radiator that floods
my apartment. Is it any wonder that I am spending too much money trying
to stay AWAY from aforementioned miniscule-ment?
that I’ve decided to stay here, I figured it’s time to start living
like a San Franciscan who isn’t a dot-com millionaire (which, for the
record, I’m not.) So I’m learning the joys of public transportation.
Except it has it out for me.
I’m writing this standing at a bus
stop**, already late for dinner, trying to understand where the FUCK the
N-Judah is. You see, we even have this handy trip planner that will map the route and tell me exactly
what bus to take, where to transfer, and even when the next one is
coming. Handy, right? And since I have a third grade education, I
jotted down all the relevant details, got my $1.50 fare, and set off on
my journey, EARLY even so I wouldn’t be late. Apparently it wasn’t
meant to be.
In the thirty minutes I’ve been standing here for
the train that "comes every nine minutes" I have seen twelve buses,
three – no, make that four – Google shuttles, two "F-Market" streetcars
and ZERO – count ’em, ZERO – N-Judahs. I’m only thankful that it’s not
a) raining or b ) freezing because seriously, I’m PROVING something
here in this journey. It’s me vs. The N-Judah in a battle royale, and
I’m going to win because really, I’m sick, I already took my Robitissin
with Codeine and it’s BYOB with no corkage fee at Zazie. And as if I
have any food at home.
Make that FIVE Google shuttles, sixteen
buses, three homeless men, and I’m sure any minute they’ll be a fucking
partidge in a pear tree. Just no N-Judah.
** Note that I *WAS* writing that at the bus stop, it didn’t post, and the N-Judah never came. NEVER. Daisy gave me a ride…love her. HATE N-Judah.