Ex-Excommunication, Redoux

I’m lucky: I have a lot of friends.

I also have a lot of "friends" – you know, "friends" on these ever-so-popular social networking site which I’m convinced are just a thinly veiled guise for us all to get laid. (Not that I’m complaining, nosirree. We all need a lil’ more action in our lives if you ask me.) Anyway, I decided that it was time to update my picture on aforementioned sites since a) I was sitting on the phone with Bank of Piece of Shit America for three hours and b) I’m all dark and twisty (hair-wise and otherwise) and some of the NYE pics were HOTT. (Modest, I am not.) So, alas and alack, I spent the better part of the afternoon trolling Facebook (I finally joined), Consumating, Friendster, MySpace and the like while Glenda Jean was transferring me to Jorge in the fraud department and I scared Omid’s assistants with my colorful language.

It’s amazing, these sites, that people can spend so much time on them, "interacting" with people while actually just sitting in front of a computer by themselves. People spend HOURS leaving comments and having "conversations" on Consumating in an attempt to finally have some real consummating I suppose. Not that I don’t embrace the digital age; I do. I’ve discussed this before, but basically, I think we’re replacing real conversation with bits and bytes and are undervaluing the power of hearing someone’s voice instead of reading their IM’s. (Though, in interest of full disclosure, I HATE talking on the phone. Just text message me, will ya? MMkay thanks, Love, Your Favorite Hypoctrite.)

And yet as I was making up new curse words that could be understood by a 58 year-old Mexican woman in Tuscaloosa, I found myself meandering over to  MySpace…only to realize that my ex was no longer listed as one of my friends. Now, I don’t go to MySpace like, um, ever, so I figured maybe I had inadvertantly missed him, and rescanned. NOPE. He was gone. Where was he? And then it hit me: HE DEFRIENDED ME! On MYSPACE! DEFRIENDED! Can you imagine?

Ok, must fully disclose again: this is the same ex who I (somewhat…ok, yes, publicly) excommunicated from my life because I couldn’t bear him breaking my heart one more time with how much he continued to let me down. I was just tired of being disappointed, tired of it all. And so I didn’t return his texts, nor his calls, and (save for one wine-fueled call to let him know I thought he looked like Dustin Hoffmann in "The Graduate") I’ve not really looked back. I miss him – many, many days I miss him – but I just didn’t (and don’t) know how to have him in my life. So I’ve moved on (way, way on, if smooches are any  criteria) and the days and months have passed and yes, I sent a Christmas card to his roommate’s dog but it was from Lila Belle, not me, so that doesn’t really count, right? Anyway, you get my point.

What I did NOT do, however, was DEFRIEND him from MySpace! From my life? Sure! But my electronic group of friends? He can remain as long as he doesn’t leave snarky comments on my page or whatever you call it like certain other former-stalkers used to. I’m comfortable having him as a "friend", I suppose, just not a Friend right now.

So maybe I *AM* ok with the digital age…in some cases, it gives you the distance you need to learn how to get over someone.

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