Best Laid Plans

I believe I was pretty clear last week when I donned 2007 the year of “AVOIDING THE DRAMA” (caps intended). Yes, to quote Daisy, drama DOES “make things more exciting.” True, true, but from someone whose life is pretty damn exciting and excitable on any given day, I think I can sit back for the next twelve months in my proverbial rocking chair and be a contented witness to someone else’s drama instead of playing the starring role in my own. I mean, I’ve won quite a few imaginary Tony’s and Emmy’s and Oscar’s for my roles through the years (you should see the number that I’ve won in the last six months alone!) and frankly, my awards shelf is getting pretty full. And it’s a pain in the ass to dust.

So yes, I’m taking some time off, passing the flag to others equally qualified to enjoy the drama and all the Xanax that comes with it. I’m MORE than happy to offer a few pills to the kind recipient; I’ve got a stash.

Thus far, I’ve done well. I’ve stayed home despite multiple invitations otherwise on instances when drama could potentially rear its ugly head. I’ve left things remain un-retorted to save innocent folks from being brought into unnecessarily long-overdue-to-be-resolved situations. I’ve even taken the fall for an ill-timed head shake that had NOTHING TO DO WITH ME only because in bringing it up, it would seem that I was defending myself. I’ve sat on the porch to escape. I’ve left early. I’ve turned down suggestions of DebauchAubrey because I could see where it was leading! See!? I AM MAKING AN EFFORT HERE.

And yet Drama has sought me out yet again, this time a result of a crafty internet troller and an innocent smooch. The details of this are FAR too insane to go into here since aforementioned situation a) involves legal action (not on my part, Thank God) and b) is likely being read by aforementioned troller but simply put, sometimes even when you shut the door on Drama, it finds its way in through the window and slams itself on your good-intentioned fingers.

OW.

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