I’ve never had a cavity.
Actually, let me clarify. I’ve never had a cavity…until today. And now, I have two. TWO CAVITIES! How have I made it thirty years with a clean record only to mar it as a THIRTY YEAR-OLD?! People get cavities because they eat too much junk food, too much candy, but that’s SO not me…I don’t do candy. French fries, I do. Candy? Not so much. And I brush my teeth! Religiously! WITH A SONICARE!? WTF!?
Sorry for all the caps, here, but I feel like a failure.
That, and I just took my first Valium. You can’t really expect me to go through this without the aid of anxiety-reducing drugs, can you?