The budget, ’tis shot. And by ‘shot’ I mean one of those drive-by shootings where one praises the Lord that they went out for a gallon of milk only to return home and find every one of their walls riddled with gunshot holes. Except The Budget didn’t go out for that gallon of milk; no, it’s the victim first removed from the crime scene, covered by two separate sheets due to the nature of its fatal injuries.
RIP, Budget. You were good while you lasted.
Though instead of a proper moratorium for The Budget (TMD), I believe a rebranding might need to be in order. Yes, a recategorization of the month commonly known as August. Instead of that common moniker, or perchance, The Budget (TMD-RIP), I believe we shall call this month "The Month in which Aubrey Spends Money and Records It All (So That She’ll Never Spend it in a Similar Fashion Again)". Not one to project the blame onto others, I must say that within the first five days of the month, the following unusual events occurred:
- My fridge from my house in Atlanta (that I rent out) broke. It’s out of warranty. You can only imagine the impact that had on The Month Formerly Known as The Budget (TMD-RIP) Month.
- My dog had two foxtails removed from her paw. While I love the folks from Pets Unlimited dearly – and give to them regularly – this month wasn’t equipped for a Major Vet Bill (TM).
- UNC: No, not my alma mater, this stands for Unexpected Nourishment Costs. Without going into too much detail, I have been extremely frugal in eating out; after all, this month was to be The Budget month! Instead, I find myself spending unallotted funds for an overpriced (insert an item that should be $9 but was instead $16 here). Times three = The Budget dying a slow, painful death.
I’m not even going to go into the experience that was Ikea (should that be "The Experience That Was Ikea"? Yes. It actually should.) since I don’t think I have enough Xanax to relive those two days (totaling six hours) of my life. Suffice it to say my 0% interest Citibank card took a beating and while I do love my new house (three Ikea assembly finger/foot casualties notwithstanding) I had prepared for one amount and left with a separate amount entirely, roughly double of the original amount. I never thought I’d be that person who got duped with the ".99" used to make things seem less, but alas, I hang my head in shame for this one.
So moving forward. I’m extremely cognizant of my spending (and really AM doing things like bringing my lunch and getting gas at the super cheap place by my house and bypassing Sugar-Free Fat-Free Iced Hazelnut Lattes for chilled tap water,) and while I won’t play the victim (WAAH WAAH! These items were out of my control – no, silly, you budget for the unexpected…even I, Aubrey of ‘Math is Hard’ fame, knows that) I will say that it was unfortunate that the first month that I took on the rent by myself also included a few of these unexpected expenses, not to mention my over-zealousness in paying off my credit cards. (Hey, could be worse – I could be overzealous in other, more expensive and likely illegal arenas, I suppose. Sigh. Midwestern upbringing to the prudish rescue.) Like all good celebs who go to rehab when they ‘mess up’ yet again, I choose to use this as a learning experience and find a way of rebranding. Because, after ‘The Month in which Aubrey Spends Money and Records It All (So That She’ll Never Spend it in a Similar Fashion Again)’ happens, the TRUE budget will begin.
And, golly gee, I just can’t wait for September. I know you, too, are waiting with bated breath.
Am I the only one that often *hates* being a grown-up??