(un)crushed

So here’s the thing. The well has run dry. I’m all crushed out.

With nary a soul in my irreverantly proverbial ‘spank bank’, it’s time for a fill-up. I’ve clearly been a) too busy b) too grouchy c) too picky (or all of the above) in the last few days/weeks/months to find myself an acceptable crush. And now, in crunch time, I’m finding myself heading towards impending disaster if I continue on the "almost-about to-nearly there" quasi-crush path that I’m finding myself treading down. Trust me, people, this almost-crush is so unsuitable, it makes Tucker Max look like an angel. (OK, that’s maybe a bit too harsh. But just a bit.) It’s due time for me to get off Rogue Road and Cad Court and yes, Asshole Avenue as well and take the less-bumpy path of Suitable Suitor Street.

So alas, I’m on a mission for kissin’ as being crushless is a boring, boring life. Though, similar to shopping in that when you’re looking for a great dress for that upcoming wedding, you can never find it, actively seeking a crush almost entirely guarantees their absence. That’s why you buy a cute dress when you find it, knowing that some event will come up for which to wear it and why it’s a bad, BAD idea to let your crush well run dry. You should always have SOMETHING in your back pocket, a man (or four) waiting in the wings.

The End,
Love Aubrey

2 thoughts on “(un)crushed

  1. Oh Aubs, how I feel your pain!
    Having said that, is it possible you’re mixing up crushes and boy-toys? Boy-toys (or girls, for that matter) are relatively easy to come by – it’s the crushes that are so damn hard to track down!
    I have a hard time believing that you (smart/funny/beautiful/successful, and I got all that from meeting you just once!) have any trouble whatsoever finding either BTs or crushes… You’ve got the winning combination!
    So chin up, and a crush will most certainly fall into your lap any day now 🙂

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