I mentioned on an earlier post that I’m foregoing alcohol for the month of January. I have quite a few friends who are doing this crazy "Health Month" thing that not only requires zero alcohol but also entails giving up everything good in the world (except sex) so I feel like my sacrifice is somewhat meager in the shadow of that craziness. Except that those insane folks get one Amnesty Day, which I both covet and am subsequently happy that I don’t have. Because I think once I gave myself the proverbial inch, I’d take my former tee-totaling self to Fly Bar faster than you can say "Poppy Jasper" and stay there for, say, a week. Or maybe two. (I’m unemployed, after all, and it’s within walking distance.) I am many things, and a person of absolutes is one of them.
Twenty-one days into this quest (which, may I add, is going splendidly for all three of us involved) and I’ve found myself noticing the following things:
- I have an insane sense of smell, currently nearing SuperPower proportions. You have a glass of wine WAY over there at the other side of the room? I assure you, I can smell it, just like I can smell that stank-ass beer on your breath. Please, I beg of you, have a mint. (Note that I also found this during the Master Cleanse back in July but didn’t at the time attribute it to the lack of alcohol, though it seems that must be the case as it’s the only common factor between both endeavors.)
- Drunk people aren’t as funny as they think they are. Unshocking, I know. They also don’t think I’m very fun.
- I have no desire to get drunk. This one surprises me a little – I consider myself an enjoyable tipsy-like gal – but really, all I want is a glass of wine. A GOOD glass of wine at that.
- It’s easier to give up other ‘vices’ during a time of restraint. In fact, for the past week, I’ve also restricted refined sugars and most (non-vegetable) carbs with very little effort.
- I don’t actually FEEL that much better. Also a surprise, I don’t know if this is because I don’t really get hangovers to begin with or if my poor body also needs a more thorough cleanse. Or perhaps I always feel pretty ok.
- Drinking is mainly a social activity for me. As I suspected, it isn’t hard not to drink when I’m at home; then again, I’m not really a "get home, open a bottle of wine" type of gal, so that makes sense. It’s when I’m out at dinner or at the lodge after a morning of skiing that I really want to imbibe in a glass of red wine or a Blue Moon replete with orange wedge. YUM.
- People think I’m crazy. I’ve gotten so many "Who are you and what have you done with the Aubs I know and love?" emails and texts that I’m becoming glad that I’m doing this when I am. Because while I love to be the life of the party, I don’t ever want to become the person that can’t exist without a drink in their hand. There’s something to say about moderation, and it’s due time for me to be exercising a bit of it.
With only ten more days to go, I wonder how this will affect me in the long term. Will I never get drunk again? Impossible – I know myself and am sure that at some point in the next 70+ (God willing) years I’ll tie one on to the point I’ll swear to the heavens that I’ll never drink again. (After all, I have my bachelorette party to attend!) But I would love to use this as a tapering mechanism, a reminder that alcohol doesn’t need to be the central factor around which all social activities revolve.
Though if you want to buy me a drink at midnight on the 31st, I know someone who will be long overdue for a Poppy Jasper. Or four.