Perhaps I should start a spinoff site named TextsFromSundayEarlyAfternoon.com

Speaking OF Bay to Breakers, there's nothing like checking your phone the next day to see your string of texts. This one was particularly epic; so much that I felt obligated to share it with the world, misspellings, timestamps, and attribution (well, at least my own), intact:

Him (12:53pm PDT): Omg I'm so hammered with friends I love so much. I land at 930. Want to pick me up!?!?
Aubs (1:33pm): I'm pretty
Him (1:34pm): Yea. And in took the quick plane to make sure u don't f up
Aubs (1:48pm): Huh? I live you an will call a supersguttle but I will not be able to Drive. Fun!
Him (1:52pm): Ps. Im pretty
Aubs (1:54pm): Ps: Yes you are

…some time passes…
Him (2ish): Omg I'm hammered. Let's hope I get on the plane.
Aubs (2ish): Dude. You have. NO. IDEA.
Aubs (2ish): I dressed up as Miss California

… a bit more time passes…
Him (2:18pm): First time I can't wait to see someone outside of Chicago. Miss u
Aubs (2:23pm): You miss MY ASS? Aww, yeah, ditto.
Him (2:32pm): I do…
Aubs (2:39pm): That's just because I spilled salsa on my gut.

…and the best one, wherein it's evident that math is hard, even for engineers. Note: he was flying back from Chicago, which is two hours ahead of San Francisco.

Him (3ish pm): Want to get sushi when I land?
Aubs (3ish pm): What time? I'm soooooooo in bed right now
Him (3ish pm): 10. Come on!!!! It's 5 for u. B there soon.
Aubs (3ish pm, trying - futilely - to make the math work here): You said – huh? What? If you get home at 10pm sf time it is actually 10pm. You're smoking crack.

Screw TextsFromLastNight.com – I'm sitting on a goldmine here: BingeDrinkingOnTheSabbath.org

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