This week has been a disjunction of emotion. I’m unsettled, but can’t put my finger on exactly WHY. I just feel a general sentiment of disappointment. There were events I was looking forward to that are now no longer happening, there are things coming soon (sooner than I’m prepared for, even) that I’m dreading, things that make me wake up and think “Oh right, that’s two weeks away” and proceed to weigh on me. It’s like the programs running in the background of your iPhone that eventually drain your battery, I feel like that’s what’s going on in my life right now. No specific complaints, but damn, I could use something to look forward to.
Probably because of this – or contributing to this? – I’m overly reminiscent on days past. There’s been a few recent reminders of things that held (hold) significance in my life; anniversaries of good moments that now make me melancholy. The whole thing seems to be a shame, and I’m likely being too sentimental.
But while I’m wallowing (or near-wallowing) in something far less than dispair (treading water in malaise?), I’m allowing myself a moment of sentimentality and playing this song and listening to these lyrics that make me think of times past, of a certain situation, one that I’ve still not yet escaped.