Category Archives: Uncategorized

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Stalkers, beware.

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Secretly crushing on your coworker? Your roommate’s boyfriend? Your high school ex? C’mon, it happens…we ALL know that there’s a person or two that strikes your fancy that may not be ‘societally acceptable’.  (Not to me, of course. I’m the picture of propriety.) However, if you do find yourself in that situation and are on Friendfeed, I warn you – proceed with caution.

Friendfeed, for those of you not immersed in the Web 2.0 Social Media Internet clusterfuck like I am, is a web aggregator that behaves similar to an RSS feed of your activity on social media sites. You enter in your profile name for services like Twitter, Upcoming, Tumblr, even your personal blog, and it creates a running summary of your activity on those sites. You can follow your friends (or people you find yourself unnaturally obsessed with) and see what they’ve been up to. (Check out mine in case you need an example.)

Further, Friendfeed provides a medium to start and contribute to conversations. With Twitter, people ask questions or make comments, and the common way to respond is by sending another Tweet with the "@" sign to show that you are replying to them. Tools like Summize allow you to track these in conversations, but Friendfeed goes one step further by removing the 140 character limit (though you can choose to also respond via Twitter if you want) and allows people to comment, indicate that they like the post, forward it on or even easily repost it. Pretty cool for people who are fully entrenched within the world of social media and use these services as a way to engage & connect with others.

THAT SAID, see my warning above to proceed with caution, as you may be revealing your secrets without intending to. Most of the applications you include are harmless – well, relatively, unless you don’t want people knowing about your webbed foot fetish as indicated on Del.icio.us – but Flickr provides the biggest risk. Besides posting the photos you have recently uploaded – which people can already see in the "Photos from your Contacts" view on your website – it also posts a notification when you ‘favorite’ a photo. Again, this information is easily found by going to each individual user’s "favorites" link, but currently isn’t something that’s readily accessible. So if you were to, say, favorite a photo of your Supah Secret Lovah or Former Douchebag Ex who you just aren’t over, Friendfeed will take that little nugget and blast it to your 8,948,380 ‘followers’ whether you like it or not.

While I’m a fan of the service, I will be a bit more trepidatious on my Flickr activity (not that I have anything to hide except, perhaps, a glimpse inside my tendency towards narcissism. But you all knew that anyway.) Still, maybe Friendfeed needs a new slogan or tagline. How about: "Friendfeed: Outing illicit trysts since 2008"?

Uncategorized 23 Comments

Don’t Ask, Just Tell

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The Internets is killing your game. Behold, the following romantic scenarios:

Dating, five years ago
Boy meets girl. Boy waits the requisite 3 days to call girl (which even though the girl knows, still drives her nuts) and a date ensues. They discuss work, what they did that week, and what they’re up to the following weekend while on said date. Date ends (however it ends) and, should there have been a spark, the relationship progresses as it should; either they continue to talk, hang out, and eventually date, or perhaps it wasn’t a love connection and they remove themselves from each other’s lives. (Perhaps) Happily Ever After, (Perhaps) Not, but no harm, no foul. The End.

Now, fast forward to today.

Boy meets girl. Actually, he doesn’t really meet her; instead, he finds her on Facebook or follows her on Twitter or favorites her photos on Flickr. By the time he meets her in person, there’s no need for extensive emails back and forth since he already knows she loves sushi and hates pizza, so choosing a restaurant close to her house (he also knows this from her Brightkite check-ins) is easy.  Dinner conversation is strained – who needs to talk anyway? Twitter already told him that she had a crappy day at work and she’s well aware of his weekend plans to go surfing, so instead they fill the time by chugging their microbrews and end up going back to her house because really, it’s easier to make out than it is to have a non-electronic conversation. Texting and direct Twitter messaging ensue if they’re interested; eventually, the outcome is the same – they date if there’s a connection beyond the fact that they’re both avid Mac users and Digg fans, but if not, c’est la vie. That is, until she sees via Twitter that he’s flirting with some other girl and he gets her Dodgeball check-ins to discover that she’s at the movies with that guy he never liked anyway.  Then he de-friends her on Dodgeball, and in retaliation she blocks him from Twitter and what once could have faded out gracefully ends in a electronically communicated clusterfuck for the ages, Facebook broken heart and all.

I exaggerate – only slightly – but does anybody besides me realize that we’re entering into precarious, uncharted territory that abolishes anonymity even if you do your best to control what YOU put out into the ether of the Internets? You may not be broadcasting your actions, but your friend’s Qik cam may be outing your secret rendezvous with your ex. That bit o’ gossip you IMd your friend in confidence is fast-tracking it way to three other pals, because – let’s face it – nothing but face-to-face communication (and sometimes not even that) is considered sacred. We’re turning into a Don’t Ask, Just Tell society that’s affecting both our friendships and our romantic relationships at a startling pace. And I, for one, am sick of the unintentional pain that is being caused by it all.

That doesn’t even factor in the paranoia – why is your crush dedicating “Total Eclipse of the Heart” to that girl on Facebook? What does that cryptic Twitter mean – your two friends seem to be @-ing each other a ton…is something going on? It’s so easy to jump to conclusions when nobody TALKS TO EACH OTHER ANYMORE and the de facto standard has become ungrounded assumptions. True, the rise of electronic communication has increased productivity and international business and all that nonsense, but it’s also put a HUGE crimp in our game. I’m not suggesting we return to the days of dance cards or even do something so inane as following a set of Rules, but there’s something to be said for the phrase “Less is more.” A little mystery goes a long way, and I, for one, think that the best accoutrement to my Poppy Jasper is some witty banter and sparkling conversation – with our iPhones turned OFF.

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Comin’ right up!

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hotties at your service!, originally uploaded by Willo.

Last night I guest bartended at Elixir to benefit our Digg SF AIDS Walk team. Sadly, I won’t be able to be there on the 20th to actually participate in the walk, so figured I could contribute in another way; namely, by causing my friends to be hungover today.

Mission accomplished.

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Hittin’ the beach

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beach babes!, originally uploaded by Willo.

Ali, Willo & I (and later Ryan, Cameron & April!) headed down to our ‘secret’ beach past Pacifica to soak up the sun. Perfect Saturday.

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So much to say, so much to show

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I’ve spent the last 9 days in NYC, basically awesome-ing my way through the hottest city on earth. (Both literally & figuratively – thanks, birthday heatwave!) I will be waxing poetic on all that happened (be prepared for an epic, epic post with so many pics) but until then, I figured I’d share a bit of why my birthday dinner was so amazing.

Behold: My Pseudo-Jewish-Wedding-Birthday