I took this photo from my apartment window in Williamsburg. I live in one of the newer buildings with windows that have child safety locks that stop them from opening much more than a few inches. I tried to take the photo from indoors, but the dirty window obscured the brilliant sunset, so I squeezed my arm out the window to get a better shot. This reflection is what it yielded.
There seems to be some confusion between “fountain” & “pool.” (at Washington Square Park)
Thrilled to be helping with tonight’s @many_hopes gala. The work @thomaskeown & team are doing is amazing. (at Altman Building)
This couldn’t have come at a better time. LOVE THIS.
In my ongoing quest for the perfect framework for understanding haters, I created The Disapproval Matrix**. (With a deep bow to its inspiration.) This is one way to separate haterade from productive feedback. Here’s how the quadrants break down:
Critics: These are smart people who know something about your field. They are taking a hard look at your work and are not loving it. You’ll probably want to listen to what they have to say, and make some adjustments to your work based on their thoughtful comments.
Lovers: These people are invested in you and are also giving you negative but rational feedback because they want you to improve. Listen to them, too.
Frenemies: Ooooh, this quadrant is tricky. These people really know how to hurt you, because they know you personally or know your work pretty well. But at the end of the day, their criticism is not actually about your work—it’s about you personally. And they aren’t actually interested in a productive conversation that will result in you becoming better at what you do. They just wanna undermine you. Dishonorable mention goes to The Hater Within, aka the irrational voice inside you that says you suck, which usually falls into this quadrant. Tell all of these fools to sit down and shut up.
Haters: This is your garden-variety, often anonymous troll who wants to tear down everything about you for no rational reason. Folks in this quadrant are easy to write off because they’re counterproductive and you don’t even know them. Ignore! Engaging won’t make you any better at what you do. And then rest easy, because having haters is proof your work is finding a wide audience and is sparking conversation. Own it.
The general rule of thumb? When you receive negative feedback that falls into one of the top two quadrants—from experts or people who care about you who are engaging with and rationally critiquing your work—you should probably take their comments to heart. When you receive negative feedback that falls into the bottom two quadrants, you should just let it roll off your back and just keep doin’ you. If you need to amp yourself up about it, may I suggest this #BYEHATER playlist on Spotify? You’re welcome.
** I presented The Disapproval Matrix to the fine folks at MoxieCon in Chicago yesterday, and they seemed to find it useful, so I figured I’d share with the class. It was originally inspired by a question my friend Channing Kennedy submitted to my #Realtalk column at the Columbia Journalism Review.
“When spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest.” ― Ernest Hemingway (at Theodore Roosevelt Park (Museum Park))
We’re hiring. (Taken with Instagram)
ayse:
(via Henry Miller’s 11 Commandments of Writing & Daily Creative Routine | Brain Pickings)
Amazing what good advice this still remains today. Especially #1. With so much distraction, so easy to forget & so hard to actually do.
AubreySabala.com 