Being the one in control of what moves me, what I feel obligated by, and what attachments I have to fleeting experiences is not an authority that I’m willing to concede to the arbitrary whims of an app on my mobile phone. I think more and more people are going to retake this agency over their feelings about being social, as well. That’s a joyful thing.
What people who don’t write don’t understand is that they think you make up the line consciously — but you don’t. It proceeds from your unconscious. So it’s the same surprise to you when it emerges as it is to the audience when the comic says it. I don’t think of the joke and then say it. I say it and then realize what I’ve said. And I laugh at it, because I’m hearing it for the first time myself.
I find this to ring true for all types of writing, not just comedy. The article or story writes itself in my head; it’s up to me to listen to it & transcribe. That’s the only way I’ve ever been able to describe being a writer, and why it’s so hard to write on command. It’s also why – at least for me – exercise, routine & being with myself – is the best way for me to be able to “hear” the words that are being written.
The simple answer is this: We are wired that way. A story, if broken down into the simplest form, is a connection of cause and effect. And that is exactly how we think. We think in narratives all day long, no matter if it is about buying groceries, whether we think about work or our spouse at home. We make up (short) stories in our heads for every action and conversation. In fact, Jeremy Hsu found [that] “personal stories and gossip make up 65% of our conversations.
And yet every VC will insist the product should market itself, and that any marketing that isn’t SEO or directly measurable is a waste.
Meanwhile the press ends up writing the story for you, and it ends up being about how much the CEO is worth, or a dumb thing someone accidentally said at a conference, or how you’re a has been or how angry your users are.
Stories matter. Control the story from the beginning. Tell the story from the beginning. Product is not – and never will be – everything.
100%. This is why investing in marketing & comms from the beginning – which is different than PR, in this instance – is important. Once you let someone else dictate the story, you’re giving up a bit of control. And when you do push towards a press strategy, one tip I give to all of my clients I work with is to write the sorry first, the story that you would want a reporter to write. Helps you identify & immediately articulate the most important points you want others to say.
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
This has been my guiding tenet for all major decisions in my life. I plan on relying on it more than ever in the coming month. Once you make your intentions known, it’s amazing how quickly things begin to fall in place.
When you say goodbye to someone or decide not to see them again, remember you are a moment in their story. Make it a story that doesn’t leave a scar.
The mistake that straight people made,” Savage told me, “was imposing the monogamous expectation on men. Men were never expected to be monogamous. Men had concubines, mistresses and access to prostitutes, until everybody decided marriage had to be egalitarian and fairsey.” In the feminist revolution, rather than extending to women “the same latitude and license and pressure-release valve that men had always enjoyed,” we extended to men the confines women had always endured. “And it’s been a disaster for marriage.
Probably the best article I’ve ever read examining the different facets of commitment. Our lives are not “one size fits all”, so neither should our relationships subscribe to that theory.
I don’t know where exactly I stand on monogamy vs. nonmonogamy, but Dan Savage’s views on total honesty within a relationship are something I DO agree with.
Definitely worth a read.
But I wouldn’t say that we (at The Future Well) look at health from just a medical and emotional perspective. I’d say it’s much more than that. The word health has been hijacked by the medical/sickness industry. But it really means the way you live your everyday life through your relationships with friends, family, your neighborhood, your movement, your food, your experiences, your work, and your finances. Health isn’t a goal, it’s a tool to live your life the way you want. Sometimes being fit isn’t the tool you want to use, but having a lovely marriage is. Is the unfit person with a lovely marriage less healthy than a fit person with a horrible relationship with their spouse? Health is obviously complex but it’s more about sociology and anthropology than pills and scalpels.
Maybe some people you’re never meant to get over. Maybe they hold that piece of you & you’re supposed to be who you are now without it. Maybe.
I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy.