If you have a new car, and they send you the paperwork to get your permanent tags, do not put off turning in your temporary tags until the day it expires.

In addition, after getting your permanent tags, do not put off safely adhering them to the back of your vehicle with the screws tightened as your father would do it.

If, for any reason, you decide that you’d rather go inside and go to the bathroom instead of immediately adhering the tags to the car, do NOT lay the tag on the back hood of the car with the top down as a reminder to you the next morning to then put the permananet tags on your car.

If you come downstairs on your way to work, after failing to install the tags the night before, do NOT check your laundry. You will therefore forget to see the ‘reminder’ that you placed the night before and fail to adhere your tags to the car before driving off to work with the top down.

If you realize, mid-drive, that you forgot to adhere the tags to your car, do NOT do a U-turn in the ghetto, almost taking out a crack whore and a man with one leg in a shopping cart. While you can backtrack and look for your tag, it is likely a futile endeavor.

If you still find yourself without a tag, and driving with a temporary tag that expired on June 4th, do not proceed directly to the DMV office as you think would be a good idea.

If you find yourself sent from the DMV office to the police precinct across the hall, do not tell them your real address. If you do this, they will apologize but send you BACK DOWNTOWN near your house to the City of Atlanta precinct to file a police report on a lost or stolen tag.

If you call the ‘helpful’ number provided by the ‘helpful’ policeman, do not expect them to call you back within an hour as they say they will.

If you find yourself filing a police report, keep it in your car at all times, which is now ghettified by the “Lost Tag” plate where your license plate, formerly shiny and all good-numbered and easily rememberable, would have been.

If you find yourself driving around, mortified by the fact that your wonderful new car is sporting a “Lost Tag” handwritten plate a la uninsured Mexicans and hoopdi drivers, consider yourself in good company.