The stars at night, are big and bright…
(clap clap clap clap)
Deep in the heart of Texas…

And oh! How true.

Please forgive me, as I write this from the vantage point of a girl whose first visit to Texas included long drives, big drawls, cheap beers and the two-step. If you don’t mind, I’ll elaborate.

As I type this, it’s after 2:30 am. Apparently, my webserver would prefer me to post this in the morning and personnally, it’s inconsequential as I hope to proof this prior to posting and even, in the worst case scenario, at least you’ll understand where I’m coming from.

Welcome to Texas.

Where the stars are big and bright, as are the hairstyles. I’ve seen just about everything in the past 56 hours – squabbling lesbians at the traditional barbeque place. Where the ID’s are rarely checked, but the tips are scrutinized. Where would-be stars play at the same miniscule and spartan bar as they’ve had for 25+ years as opposed to branching out. Where tradition is the cornerstone.

I find myself being more and more endeared to this state. I loved the history of the Alamo, even with the Sno-Cone stand prostituting its wares to unknowing tourists. I love the contrast in the culture, in the clothing. I love the cowboy boots paired with yoga pants, the contradiction between all things customary and all things Texan, the way that people here really don’t give a shit. (Honestly, they really don’t. And it’s charming.) I love that people thought I was a hoot, what with my quasi-Southern accent that evolves when drunk and my obsession with Matthew McConaughey, and I love that people were actually willing to TRACK HIM DOWN when I shared with them my obsession with Matthew McConaughey. I love the fact that he graces the cover of Texas Monthly.

It’s times like these that I re-evaluate, that when I tell people that I like Atlanta, I wonder if I’m not lying to them and to myself. It’s times like these when I wonder what’s just around the corner for me, and how soon I’ll find exactly what I’m looking for. It’s times like these that I wonder just what it is I am looking for.

It’s times like these that I wish I hadn’t had that last shot.