At age 26, I have been in no less than five weddings. Our dresses were, in no particular order, purple, ivory, charcoal gray, light blue, and black. A good variety, wouldn’t you say? I’ve attended at least 16 weddings (if not more – as sad as it seems, I may have lost count) in the past two years, and have had a jolly good time at each. I have caught two bouquets – two more than needed, I do say – and somehow managed to avoid getting engaged since. Nary a month goes by without hearing from a friend, family member, or (the horror!) an ex that they’ve gotten engaged. And this begins the cycle.
I love my friends. Adore them, in fact. And for the purpose of this discussion, let’s just place all of my ex’s into this category, since for the most part, they ARE my friends even if they’re no longer my friends that have intimate knowledge of my bed/shower/elevator. As such, and because I’m blessed to have a number of friends who are in committed relationships, I get the following email or phone call on a regular basis.
“Guess what!? We got engaged this weekend!”
“Just wanted you to know…[insert hunky soon-to-be-hubby’s name here] proposed to me yesterday!”
“You’ll never guess, but I’m getting MARRIED!”
These emails/calls are followed by the requisite shrieking, me offering to do their calligraphy (which, incidentally, I LOVE to do), and getting the nitty gritty about the proposal, the ring, the plans, and any other detail that is relevant to their (and my) excitement. And similar to the feeling I get when I find out that a fabulous writer has gotten a book inquiry or deal, similar to that sincere feeling of excitement and elation, I have that twang of jealousy. Yes, the green-eyed monster even strikes me in the midst of honest, authentic happiness.
Until yesterday. I can say, without a doubt, that I was able to experience the jubilation without the pang of wishing that I was getting engaged myself.
Was it because I don’t want to get engaged? Nope…still a goal for some point in my life.
Was it because I didn’t like the couple as much as some of the others? Of course not – if anything, it’s the opposite, as this couple has scaled challenges, long distance & more to emerge as one of the happiest & most committed pairs that I know.
Was it because I had a Grande Gingerbread Non-Fat Soy Latte? Nope. Well, maybe that added to the shrieking, but I’m pretty darn sure it didn’t remove any jealousy twangs.
Was it because I’m growing up?
Wow. Could it be? Could my maturity have stepped in here, causing me to live vicariously through my darling friends with nary a twinge of envy? Could I finally be viewing my future as a big adventure, void of time constraints, societal status quos, and impatience about all that is to come? Could I be settling into my life, the way it is, knowing that it’s great now, and whatever may be, may be?
Yes. It could be.
After all, I turned 26 1/2 yesterday, and if that doesn’t make me mature, well Hells Bells, I don’t know what does.
AubreySabala.com 
super glad awesome to hear you are in better spirits these days!!!
fyi: people always say that women are attracted to men who are confident and like who/where they are in life…it goes both ways, believe me!!!
Gotta tell you this was just too damn funny. I was at work, on the phone with someone that I was only halfway listening to when I switched over to your website. Right as I started to read your post, Kory says ‘I have something to show you–you wouldn’t believe what he gave me last night!’. It was all I could do to keep from laughing from the coincidence.
And Aubs, at the age of 30 I have been a maid of honor three times (twice for the same girl), a bridesmaid/attendant at least six that I can remember off hand, and there was one year right after college where we quit counting the number of weddings and just decided to go to one every three weeks. I even have a scrapbook bulging with collected invites from friends and all. I admit that at first, sure, I was wishing that I could be there too, but after realizing that there are only about five people left in that book that are still married, I’ve realized that I’m MUCH better off!
YAY AUBREY!!!!!!!!!
I remember a few years ago going to an ex’s wedding and thinking “Finally, now I won’t get a crying phonecall every time she breaks up with someone again.”
I remember going to the wedding of a previous girlfriend’s sister, and thinking “It’s not fair I don’t get to be in the family pictures. I’ve been around much longer than they’ve been together.”
The real thinker comes when your older sibling has been married for years, and you’re already an uncle, and then your younger sibling gets engaged as well, with their rehearsal dinner falling on your birthday. What did I feel about that? “Good for them. Awesome. That’s gonna be a week full of cake if I’ve ever seen one.”
Now, I’m about 28 years old, and have learned not to dwell on singledom. That’s not to say I don’t pay attention though. I hear married friends all the time, saying ‘I have to’, ‘I can’t’, ‘I’ll get yelled at’, etc., over the most simple of things.
Do they really enjoy being married, I wonder, or is it just typical to complain about things you’re ‘stuck with’? Either way, I don’t like this attitude, and know that eventually I’ll be with someone I’ll always enjoy being around, spending time with, and taking care of, and it won’t feel like a job, so much as a blessing. In the meantime, you know what they say about patience.
elevator?