I’ve not yet been here 24 hours, and already, this trip is fixing to be the best ever. So far, I have:

• Been called the “Third Hilton Sister”
• Nearly hit the guy who called me the “Third Hilton Sister”, but opted instead to take him up on his offer to buy me a drink and then ignore him
• Sang “Lady”, “In Da Club” and “Billie Jean” in Karaoke
• Got furious at the proprieters of said Karaoke bar for not having “I Touch Myself” or “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart” as karaoke options
• Got over it when I realized that they DID have both “Islands in the Stream” and “More Than Words”
• Hijacked a Limo
• Got chastised by the Limo driver for attempting to drink the champagne located inside
• Got back at aforementioned Limo driver by stealing a rose
• Told everyone at the bar that I was on the next Bachelor and “Yes, I [have] accepted his rose!”
• Called no less than 10 people in my cell phone directory, and as the screen only holds 10, contemplated how high the actual number was
• Called my Mom
• Had the bouncer (at a coffee shop, no less!!) talk to my Mom while I tried to locate my ID
• Convinced myself and everyone else that I had lost both my ID and my beloved Burberry scarf
• Purchased not one, but TWO new Burberry scarves on Ebay within 5 hours of losing aforementioned scarf
• Ate a $17 Grilled Cheese at 2am dipped in ketchup & coagulated Cheese Whiz
• Mentally invisioned the coagulation in my veins causing an immediate and painful heart attack
• Found my ID in the hotel room where I had left it
• Drunk emailed my darling roommate
• Found out that I truly am the only one of my friends not engaged or married
• Realized that someone better pay up on that bet placing me as ‘last to get hitched’ as clearly, it’s coming true
• Realized I was far too lazy to locate a shirt to sleep in, so decided to go without
• Dreamed about drinking copious amounts of water
• Made it to work 30 minutes late
• Questioned whether my “Berry Relaxing” Fruit2O was actually very relaxing.
• Met the delightful, fantabulous, more-darling-in-person-than-even-you-know Sarah Brown for a scrumdillyumptious lunch at Cafe Europa
• Ate every morsal of my Caprece Panini
• Considered having a contest to see who could most accurately describe how far my stomach will be sticking out this evening in my fabulous red dress
• Decided against it
• Bought Prilosec OTC, Tums & Pepto at Duane Reede
• Wondered just how bad those esophagael erosions they talk about on TV are doing these days
• Realized that I really, really need a nap

I shudder to think what the rest of the trip will entail…