It was the smell that hit me first, the unmistakable scent of evening air infused with jasmine and something I can’t quite put my finger on. It both shocked and soothed me – this air that I got so used to during four years in college, this air that I hadn’t until now realized was quintessential North Carolina. Standing still outside the grocery store, I noticed the way a humid evening causes a sunset to be breathtaking, and even as I heard the parking lot lights crackle to indicate that evening was upon us, I sighed. This place, this land, these smells, they yield such power that can even make a grocery store parking lot seem magical.

How I’ve missed you, North Carolina.

I consider it home nearly as much as I do Ohio. Granted, you can take the girl out of Ohio but not the other way around (or so they say), and while I’m a devoted Browns & Indians fan and I know the secrets of Panini’s and their delicious sandwiches, it’s North Carolina where I consider myself growing up. No, not the “Ghost in the Graveyard”, first-kisses sort of growing; that’s your youth, your childhood. Those are the years that prepare you for the other type of growing up, the type that scares you to your very core when you realize that you no longer have a safety net, that you can make these decisions for yourself, that you’ve changed in a way that you never would have imagined. It was here, in this state where I both lost and found myself, and it didn’t hit me until tonight how much I missed it.

Standing outside Harris Teeter, wearing pj pants and a carolina blue t-shirt, I stepped back from myself and looked at where I’m at. Looked at where I’ve been and where I want to go. And as I inhaled the night air, there was not a doubt in my mind that this state, with its native beauty and intoxicating summer air, is where I will choose to spend many of my days and years to come. In the meantime, however, while I still have a house and a life and a job to attend to in Atlanta, it’s the scent that I will remember, the smells of the evening air that will keep me alive with hope that one day soon, I’ll return here, to my second home, to North Carolina.