An Open Letter to a Person who I No Longer Date,

Please, stop it. You were never that nice when we dated, so please stop being such a charmer when you turn up in my dreams. Never once in reality did you bring me flowers, so while the thought is nice, IT ISN’T REAL. Your dream-persona is making me forget that your real-persona is a complete and total jackass. So, going forward, if you **MUST** show up in some of my random dreams, please represent yourself accurately; i.e., the ass that you are.

Thanks for your prompt attention to this matter.
-Aubrey

An Open Letter to ANOTHER Person who I No Longer Date,

Please, don’t stop. You never kissed that well in reality, so even if my knees are getting weak only in my dreams, it’s well worth it. Keep up the good work, baby.

More please,
Aubrey