October 29-February 7.

The span between calculates to exactly  100 days…100 days that I haven’t been "officially" working. Which translates to 2400 hours, 144,000 minutes and 8,640,000 seconds, give or take, um, not a damn thing.

One hundred days. I keep repeating this because the scope of this – not to mention the unintentional exactness of this time span – just seems so vast. It’s been an interesting time, probably one of the hardest times of my life. My emotions have spanned from excited (I can’t wait to try this whole freelancing thing) to worried (what if I *NEVER* figure out what I want to do with my life?) to scared shitless (uh oh, I’m running out of money.) There was a point where I thought I was going to have to take a job – any job – just to get by and pay my rent. My savings – saved for an event just like this – have dwindled, and I can’t say that my confidence didn’t do so as well.

With all due respect to Gabriel García Márquez, it has been One Hundred Days of Solitude. I found myself pushing people away, avoiding social events (probably also due to my "No Alcohol in January" quest) and basically looking into myself to figure out where to go from here. It was a pretty damn scary time, I’m not going to lie, and while I wouldn’t exactly call it a "Third-life crisis" (esp. since I hate that term and think it’s over-generalizing different stages in peoples’ lives) I will say it was a time of introspection like I’d never had before. I realized that I hadn’t been happy at the last few jobs, and while I knew why, I didn’t yet have the answer on how to fix it, how to find something that WOULD make me happy. Freelancing wasn’t doing it, and though I found myself interviewing for high-paying jobs that I could do with my eyes closed (good jobs for good companies), I didn’t think they’d challenge me the way I wanted. Nor did I find a place that I was passionate about, a product that I cared about, people that I genuinely wanted to work with and learn from and, hell, go have a beer with. Until I did.

I start tomorrow as a Marketing Manager at Digg.com, and I’ve literally been jumping up and down and doing (virtual-only, since I can’t do real ones) backflips for the past two days. My soon-to-be manager asked me when I wanted to start, and I basically screamed "THURSDAY!" and alas, so it is. I don’t know how how Gabriel García Márquez chose to end HIS book, but in mine, this story just got one hell of a happy ending.

Posting this NOT because I’m enamored with Ryan Adams (though that is very true) but because this is the catchiest song I’ve heard in forever.  (He’s been writing new songs daily and posting them with his homemade videos to YouTube.) Say what you will about him, but the man is an amazing musician.

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1 February 2008 (redoux), originally uploaded by Aubs.

…aaand, I’m BACK!

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So here’s the thing with Ryan Adams. He’s a genius. Like, pure, unadulterated brilliance. He’s also probably the quirkiest person I’ve ever encountered (and I use this world really lightly, because I can’t say I *KNOW* him – I mean, who does? – and I haven’t met him, I’ve just been humbled and in awe and somewhat captivated by the person he portrays on stage and in his recordings and lately in his videos. And I know that can just be who he chooses to let us see and parts of him that he’s willing to show but for some reason, mainly b/c I can’t imagine being able to portray a character with such multi-dimensionality without honesty, I feel like he’s showing his authentic self. But what do I know?)

Anyway. Ryan Adams.

I started listening to his music probably 5 or so years ago; I remember "La Cienega Just Smiled" was the first song that I was taken with, and I played it on repeat for days. (Ok, for weeks.) I then started discovering the rest of his music and through the years have had a love-like-lust relationship with him; Love on "Gold", Like on "Rock ‘n Roll" and finally evolving into my favorite state Lust with his recent album, "Easy Tiger". He is hands down, without a doubt, my favorite musician, not just for his talent but for his "I don’t give a fuck!" take on the world that he so often exhibits in all of his media. I’ve seen him in concert a few times; the first time, he was clearly (justifiably) agitated at some asshole in the audience who told him to "Shut up and sing!" and then the next time – last July at Herbst Theatre – he barely spoke, save for a few "Thank You"s throughout the 2 hr concert. The last show, this past Monday, was an entirely different affair, as he was jovial and engaging and genuinely seemed to be not only in a good mood but also enjoying himself. Which made me enjoy it all the more.

Now let me address some concerns: I’m well-aware that I sound like a crazy, obsessed fan. I mean, Hi, all I can talk about for the past 48 hours is Ryan Adams.  Let it be known that this is NOT the case; it’s just that for some inexplicable reason I find myself completely drawn to him, flaws and unconventionality and all.  He’s captivating. The fact that he’s been making these videos and embracing this whole other media – not to mention the fact he seemingly records a new album a week – just makes me nearly swoon with the after-effects of his creativity. There’s something so inspiring about his authenticity – he just puts it all out there – that it makes me want to do the same. I’ve never been so affected by a musician or artist or performer in my life, and right now, as crazy as it makes me seem, I’m knee-deep in Ryan Adams adoration.

So that’s the thing about Ryan Adams. He makes me want to be better.

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30 January 2008 – San Francisco, originally uploaded by Aubs.

…I have made a little "Photo of the Day" badge found logically on my Photos page from this site.

Please return to more pressing matters at hand. Like finding me Ryan Adams’s email address. Thanks.

Ryan Adams & The Cardinals – The Sun Also Sets from Aubrey Sabala on Vimeo.

Dear Ryan Adams,
I adore you.
Love, Aubs

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29 January 2008 – San Francisco, originally uploaded by Aubs.

Y’all can call BS on me, but I really don’t have that many bad habits. For one, they just don’t seem to stick. I mean, I don’t really like coffee (save for an occasional froo-froo sugar-free skim latte which I’m embarrassed to order since it screams GIRLIE…which, hmm, come to think of it, perhaps my aversion to anything “girlie” is why people have taken to calling me “dude” so much lately. Will ponder that later…back to my lack of bad habits.) I don’t smoke cigarettes, I don’t drink alone, and save for that stretch where I kept falling asleep with my clothes on, I really can’t think of an atrocious habit that I’d want to quit. Ok, perhaps cleaning up my potty mouth, but I’m TRYING.

As for good habits, I do like making my bed, even if lately I’ve found myself un-making it nearly every afternoon to partake in a nap. Hey, it’s raining, that’s what you DO on rainy days, isn’t it? I brush my teeth religiously and have even lately started enjoying flossing. (Well, maybe not ENJOYING, but tolerating it and doing it daily. My dentist will be so proud…that is, when I get dental insurance again.) So, basically, I may be a person who loves their routine and stability, but I don’t know that I’d call myself overly habitual. Committing to ANYTHING, EVERY DAY, seems a bit tethering.

But lately, I’ve seen a few friends who have been taking a photo every day and posting it to Flickr which I actually think is a pretty cool habit. Some are daily portraits; others are just whatever they find inspiring of the day. As for me, I’m not quite sure which one I’d prefer (or which I think would have the better chance of sticking) but, lo and behold, I’m willing to try.

So, starting today, every weekday I plan (PLAN!) on taking a daily photo of some aspect and posting it to Flickr. Don’t worry – I won’t always make them my daily blog post – but it would be cool to somehow have a link to my daily photo (a la Dooce style…maybe I’ll work on that) from my site.

Without further ado, here’s today’s snap, courtesy of my trusty MacBook and PhotoBooth. (The sepia setting won me over, since the lighting in my home office is less than desirable.) Enjoy…more to come.