Screw Hallmark. I’m printing these out and sending them to everyone I know. (The one above is directed at one of you – yes, you! – and the one below, someone entirely different, though I’m putting serious thought in making this your birthday card. )

I hate trekking my stuff on BART, but let’s face it, a hungry Aubrey is a grouchy Aubrey. I think Amazon must be using some sort of listening device, because today – day of major low-blood-sugar – I got THIS in my inbox.

AMAZON GROCERY.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/browse.html/ref=gro_surl_grocery/?node=16310101

I have “2 day” delivery ($79/yr) which – at least in Mountain View – gave me free NEXT day delivery. I’m gonna try this out, and will report back, but figured I’d pass it along.

YUM. Breakfast bars. I feel my blood sugar rising already.

EDIT: You have to apparently buy in bulk. While I love me some Special K Bars, I don’t think I need 6 packs of them for $30+. Damn, Amazon, I was so hopeful…

There’s many. For many of us in the tech field (a lovely posse of Geekyfantastics), Facebook doesn’t suck. I’ve lamented the uselessness of MySpace on many occasions, wondering exactly what it was that I was supposed to do with it. Yet Facebook provides me utility, introducing me to new widgets and applications and – dare I say it? – additional ways to provide me with an omnipresent online presence. I even get to find out when ex’s get engaged via the handy little "status" bar. (Congrats…sorta.) Anyway, I heart Facebook.

It was from this very application that I heard about Mosoto, yet another site that I get to register for that’s supposed to provide me with some sort of music-sharing functionality. I am vague about this because as soon as I signed up, I got sucked into creating a "box" where you – yes, YOU! – can share my recent obsession in music. And so without further ado, I leave you with two songs, "Real Life Version" by Voxtrot, and "Reunion" by Stars. I kinda love them both. (But then again, you probably know that from my Last.fm or iLike profile, doncha?)

Enjoy.

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Happy Birthday to ME!, originally uploaded by Aubs.

All the photos are posted here and you can see that the color scheme for the weekend was blue.

However, I was anything but.

MANY thanks to all of you amazing friends that made my birthday so very special. I love y’all. MWAH!

Dear Twenties,

Wow. I can’t believe we only have one more day together – how time has flown. This was the first decade when I was actually able to label it a common name; prior to this I was either a "pre-teen" (weren’t THOSE years attractive!) or a Teenager and, now that I think about it, let’s just pretend those didn’t happen, ok? Thanks.

Oh Twenties, we’ve certainly had some good times together, many of which were evidenced by yesterday’s pictorial representation of my fashion snafus. But that’s not even the best of it. Remember back when I wrote A Letter to Alcohol and it got forwarded around the internet without attribution? That was fun. (I’m still waiting for my residual checks for that one.) Remember when I first entered this fantastic decade, standing at Four Corners hollering "Buy Me A Shot – It’s my 20th Birthday!" and then hitching a ride home from the campus shuttle and waking up my visiting mother by throwing a stuffed animal at her? I should have known then that the times ahead were sure to be eventful. I haven’t been disappointed.

That’s not to say I haven’t been sad. I’ve had my share of heartbreak in the past ten years, whether it was the demise of a relationship or friendship, the horror of September 11th (the aftermath of which I still feel every single day of my life) or the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy that inevitably happens as we experience one (of many) quarter life crises. Yet through it all, through every loss and failure and tragedy, I’ve kept going forward, trudging through my twenties with a sense of resolve and excitement and – dare I say it? – optimism that one day, SOMEday, all will be well. I made mention of this in a post I wrote last year, about the tenacity of the heart, and I stand by it. The heart is a muscle, and as with any muscle, we need to exercise it and push it to the limit and even tear it a little for it to repair itself and grow stronger. And that’s what I believe…we have to love and live wholeheartedly, fervently, regardless of the consequences, to maintain this forward movement.

And so onward I go, forging into new territory; namely, my Thirties. THIRTIES! How did *I* get to be 30? (Well, in a few hours…) There’s so many things I *thought* I would have done with you, Twenties! I figured I would have had a wedding! Perhaps a little Aubs or two! Maybe even have said the "L" word but, well, you know what they say about best laid plans… After all, think of the things I hadn’t anticipated! Who would have thought I would have worked for Google? Or moved to California? Or put BROWN STREAKS IN MY HAIR?  I mean, Aubs isn’t Aubs when Aubs isn’t blonde. I guess that just proves that life is all about surprises.

So it’s with that attitude that I bid you farewell, Twenties. While I didn’t do everything I *thought* I would have (naive assumptions made over 10 years ago), I’ve done everything I never even thought about and more. I feel like we’ve had a good run, you and I, and I think the FULL COMPLETION of my to-do list this morning shows that I’m ready to go, ready to leave you and move forward with a clean slate. With great precedent,  yet without expectations. And so tonight, when I throw on my "SAVE BOOBS" t-shirt (proceeds going to Breast Cancer funding) and head to Hooters & a strip club with my guy friends, formally ushering in my 30’s at the stroke of midnight while getting a lap-dance, I’ll know I’ve done it in good conscience and can shut the door on an amazing decade.

Goodbye, Twenties, you’ve been the best. Thanks for everything. I can only hope that your successor lives up to your amazing example.

The end,
(Much) Love,
Aubrey

The Week of Aubrey™ is in full affect, with events and celebrations nearly every night. Yet as Daisy has (so astutely) pointed out, this is the last time I can pull this off, at least until I get married or have a baby, neither of which are happening ANY TIME SOON as it stands. So, I’d better relish in my selfishness and delight in my celebrations.

In preparing for the Week of Aubrey™, I scoured the city for the perfect dress for my fancy-shmance cocktail soiree. With Daisy’s help, I found not what I was looking for, but something that far exceeded it. You’ll have to wait and see. The only fear I have in my adoration of this dress is my past track record of birthday outfits which, in interest of full disclosure (and no fear of further embarrassment since I should have had my share of mortification at the time), I am presenting to you all here. Enjoy, and try to remember that times have changed and my fashion sense has evolved. Evolved, say, like Cro-Magnon times to present day.

2001: My 24th Birthday

Here I am wearing a fantastic shirt. Notice it is completely backless and full of sequins. I thought that I looked sexy at the time but really, those people weren’t likely laughing WITH ME as I took my outfit on stage (See below.)

On stage after a few drinks. At least Brandy is sporting the purple lounge attire.

2002: My 25th Birthday

Actually, this wasn’t a bad combination, though clearly I decided that the backless shirt was the way to go. (Note that I didn’t really remember that it was backless until I found THIS photo…who’s that guy?)

The year of the kissing booth. (I am 100% serious. I had a kissing booth at my party.)

2003: My 26th Birthday

I think this one doesn’t need a lot of comment. Nor does the next.

Everything was free at this Braves game. I have NO idea why.

2004: My 27th Birthday

This year I had a house party, was dating a cute guy, and decided to put my debaucherous dressing in the past. This is a Diane von Furstenburg that I actually should wear more often if it wasn’t tundra-like temperatures here in San Francisco.

The party wasn’t ALL boring…the only candle I had was from a bachelorette party I had just thrown. Any guesses on what THAT is supposed to be? (heh.) This post should be retitled: Aubrey – CLASSY through the years.

2006: My 28th Birthday

Again, a house party, but at my new house. Cute dress, not-so-cute haircut. And yes, the gloves were a present, NOT part of the outfit (though they did match.) This was a fun year, even if it did downpour and ruin my ‘garden theme’ idea. So much for East Egg!

The cake was tasty.

2006: My 29th Birthday

The Google Sales Conference was in Vegas, so we stayed an extra night and celebrated in style. Unfortunately, I had celebrated a bit too much the night before so could barely LOOK at alcohol at this point, so the champagne bottle is just for show.

I recovered by the next evening, though was apparently starving and decided that eating my hair would make for great nourishment.

2007: My 30th Birthday

You’ll just have to wait and see…

I rarely write about work. Only a handful of times did I discuss my employment with Google, and in those instances it was more about the fact that I was in China or Australia for business (or that Google Analytics, the product I worked on, was returning some very interesting queries on how people came to my website.) I prefer to keep work at work, and my life – and this blog – separate.  Though I feel compelled to break my own rule today to highlight a new, outstanding change to the world of Search. Ask.com – my company (see ‘slightly biased’ above) released Ask3D last evening, a new interface that, in my – not to mention those far smarter and influential than my – opinion(s), could change the way we search. Without getting into too much shoptalk here, I wanted to highlight a few things.

Over the past few years, we’ve learned how to search, how to refine our queries, how to be strategic in the way we ask a question or provide a statement, knowing that we’re interfacing with a machine, and that machine works by a set of rules. Google’s "rules" (aka, their algorithm) is different than Ask’s, which in turn is different than Yahoo or MSN or any other search technology out there. We’ve been trained by this technology to refine and revise until we find what we’re looking for; on average, I’ve heard that it takes around four queries to find your desired result. Ask3D changes that, and in a way that’s not only intuitive, but efficient.

Let’s look at a screen shot: this one for one of my favorite actors, Michael Vartan:

You’ll see on the left (where they moved the search box, increasing the number of results you have in the middle) options to narrow or expand your search. It even provides you with related names, including Jennifer Garner, who he used to date. NEAT.

In the middle, there are the unique-to-Ask’s "Binoculars" that allow you to roll over them with your cursor and see a sample of the site. Also neat.

My favorite part is on the right, providing Images, a Wikipedia definition, and even related blogs. The wealth of information coming from ONE QUERY makes me wonder why nobody did this long ago. Yes, it reduces the number of queries, but in a positive way; I can spend the additional time drooling at how hot he is instead of trolling through images. (BTW, take a glance at the "Images" section alone – you can refine these results and specify size, file type, black & white photos – everything. VERY helpful when you’re creating a stalker collage of your future moviestar boyfriend. So I hear…)

Other queries yield even cooler results; this time, I wanted to find out about one of my favorite bands, "The Hold Steady" (who I saw in concert last week and who rocked my proverbial socks off). The results were even more exciting:

Not only do you get a "Smart Answer" right on top (one of my favorite features that Ask.com does) but you can save it to "My Stuff" and bookmark it with one click. That’s cool, and all, but the thing that blows me away is the "Popular Tracks" section on the right pane. You can preview the songs through iLike.com (recently purchased by Ticketmaster, also an IAC property) – this plays instantly, links to recent tour dates, and after the song clip, even begins playing the next song. Of course, you’re offered the chance to purchase the tracks and even save it to an iLike profile if you want. As a music snob (read: obsessed) this makes me only one step down from elated.

I’m not going to even TOUCH the fact that The Algorithm (yes, those billboards you may have seen while stuck in traffic or online) is constantly improving, and don’t be daunted by the fact that your "vanity search" isn’t as ego-stroking as you’d like (searching on my first name only doesn’t give me the excitement of being the fifth most popular ‘aubrey’ in the world as it does on Google, though "Aubs" still does).  It will continue to improve. And, after all, if I can get over my ego, I know you can, too.

So try it out. See what you think. I hope you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

You know those girls that drop their girl friends the second they’re in a relationship? Or – worse even – bail on a girl to go out with some random guy?

I hate those girls. You know you do, too.

Only – get ready – I *AM* one of those girls, if my latest actions are any indicator. I did the unthinkable, to one of my closest friends, to boot! I picked the guy over her.

It wasn’t exactly that cut & dried, per se, but the outcome was that she felt like I chose a dude over her, and really, in situations like this, the outcome is only what matters. The truth of the matter is that I had wanted a night off from this week’s forthcoming insanity, so asked if we could not do our regular Tuesday dinner. She agreed, and I was relishing having a (rare) night with nothing to do. Then, enter cute boy, same cute boy I had an awesome dinner date with last night. We were planning the next time to see each other (me being allthemore excited for our next time to hang out 1:1 since I’m afraid my party is going to be pretty crazy and he won’t know anyone there) so alas, the only night I could was Tuesday.

Warning: Aubrey is entering asshole territory here.

So, alas, I made a bad friend decision. I should have probably just let him know that I didn’t have any free nights this week (even though I wanted to hang out with him again), taken Tuesday off to rest (which we KNOW is hard for me) but I didn’t. I planned our next date for Tuesday, my "night off" no longer. And in doing so, I’ve upset and hurt a friend and have firmly placed myself in "girl who drops girl friends for boys" territory, a no-man’s land where NOBODY ever wants to enter.

So while I’ve been apologizing profusely, and – to quote my friend – "acknowledging that you suck doesn’t make it any better" – I’m acknowledging it not to make myself feel better (as she asserts), but because I made a bad choice and by coming clean with my jackassness, it will remind me to never do it again.

Because I *hate* being "that girl" that we all hate, myself included. And nobody should spend their last 4 days of their 20’s in self-loathing.

Girls, let this be a lesson to you all, as it is to me. Ho’s before Bro’s.

The end,
Love Aubrey

I’ve been MIA, I know it. I’ve gotten a ton of emails asking where I was, why I wasn’t posting, and what was going on in my life.

In summary, a LOT.

After giving notice to Google, I was told that Monday, May 7th would be my last day; note that I had only planned on a week’s vacation before I started at my new job (which, by the way, to answer many of your questions, is an Online Marketing Manager for Ask.com). But this gave me not just one week, but THREE! So I decided it was due time I chill out, reassess, and get my life back in order. In short, I needed to take a bit of time off while I was taking a bit of time off.

And I did! ‘Twas glorious! I worked out (nearly) every day, providing me with fantastic content for future posts about "My Workout Class". (Yes, that’s what I call it, just like your Grandmother does.) I went to Kauai – by myself, something I hadn’t realized was rare and/or enviable but apparently was – spent much-needed time with my darling Lila Belle and got myself ready for this next, exciting chapter in my life.

But that’s not all! I went to a Giants Game, and had a blast, even if I DID lose my Foam Finger. RIP.

They even gave us a scoreboard message! WAHOO!

I had a mini-going away party…

Daisy turned 30, and we celebrated in style.

Then I went to Kauai. I laid by the pool, drank fruity beverages, and was in bed by  9pm every night. (This is how us ‘almost-30s’ folk party. whee.)

Then I came back, celebrated Jesse’s 30th party by saluting that quintessential 90’s movie we all know and love, Wayne’s World. PARTY ON!

The next day, we had Bay to Breakers. For those of you not in San Francisco, this is a "race" that spans from one side of the city to the next, 7 miles in total. While there are SOME runners that take it seriously, it’s mainly an excuse to dress up in something ridiculous (or go naked, as many unfortunate souls choose to do), and drink all the way. Around mile 3, where I live, it got a bit insane. (To note, we made it to the Ocean. Of course, we started at mile 3, but still…)

I think my favoritest thing of my entire ‘vacation’ was the last day – Jordan’s Memorial Day party. We sat in the hot tub (some, like me, stayed in there for nearly five hours) and afterwards, ate, drank and played Dance, Dance Revolution.

So, that’s where I’ve been. That’s what I’ve been doing. And now it’s back to the grindstone (I started work on Tuesday) but never fear, more fun is ahead.

After all, today begins the last week of my 20’s. Seven more days until the BIG one…if my 30’s are ANYTHING like my 20’s, I just can’t wait.

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geekyfantastic, originally uploaded by Willo.

My amazing friend, Willo (known to many of you as that girl who is all of those photos with me!) just launched her online store. Willo is SO talented, not only as a graphic designer, but with her illustrations. She’s turned a lot of these into adorable tees that you’ll just crave. She also did a few text-only shirts, like this Geekyfantastic one that I’m modeling.

Oh, that’s right, did I mention that I (and the smokin’ hot Ali, Misty, and Sean) were the models for her store? Well, we are. If that’s not enough to make you go check it out, I don’t know what is.

What are you waiting for? Go shop at Willotoons.com NOW.

Seriously. I’m waiting…